If the cul forcible, if not to the offender, at least to the by stander. prit refuses to receive this admonition, and even maintains her own opinion or statement with pertinacity, it will be more advisable to decline the contest, than to enter on, what is quite inimical to the nature of social converse, a long angry argument. Discussions of im. portant points may sometimes be pursued in company with improvement or pleasure; but then the weapons of controversy must be wielded by masters of the science, who possess real command of temper as well as information, who can gracefully submit to defeat, and who scorn to pursue a victory af ter it has been acknowledged. Such talents are too seldom found in unison, to induce me to rescind my affirmation, that contradiction and argument are the pests of conversation; and unfortunately the more insignificant the occa sion, the more irritating are the conse quences. Giving unpleasant answers has been already alluded to: bitter irony is another solecism of the rules of politeness. To say what you are certain will give unnecessary pain, is not only a breach in manners but in morals. If Wit be restrained by the fundamental laws of her own empire from lacerating by her keenness, shall the usurper Dulness be allowed to use her mallet, to do what the bright' daughter of Fancy renounces her legiti macy by attempting! Rude sarcasms might always be corrected by the com pany before whom the offence is committed. If there were no thoughtless laughers, there would be no offensive jesters. The leaven of vanity operates in this instance, as it does in most of our petty faults. Solicitous of distinction, yet ignorant of worthy means to procure it, the splenetic dullard resolves to be celebrated, though it be only as the destroyer of that comfort which he cannot promote. Banishment to Coventry would be a deserved and salutary punishment; nothing can sooner reclaim malignity than to show it its own insignificance. But, to undertake the execution of this sentence, requires more hardihood than generally accords with the female character. An adept in the practice of christian candour knows that we must invariably conform to the precept of " thinking no evil." Among the minute but highly important ramifications of this extensive duty, we may rank all unpleasant constructions of the words of our associates; and, when they really will bear no other interpretation, endeavouring to show the speaker that we are desirous. of understanding them in a favourable light. A good-humoured answer to a splenetic remark constitutes those "soft words" which Solonion commends; and there are few tempers so truly diabolical but will yield, if not to the suavity, at least to the address of gentle management; I except passionate people, who, if they are generous (the usual concomitant of warmth), are always soonest vanquished, by showing them that the darts they throw about at random make painful wounds. The precept of " in honour preferring one another," will teach us a habit extremely gratifying to all with whom we associate: I mean that of appearing interested in their affairs. This species of attention is especially due to those who are in affliction or perplexity. We cannot expect that people who are so circumstanced can enter into the ordinary style of conversation with ease and cheerfulness; and, it is probable, we have no other way of softening their calamities than by taking an interest E in their affairs. What, shall we ask, is so grateful as pity;-what so soothing as sympathetic attention? The veriest wretch that ever languished in calamity would turn his woe-worn face to catch the accents of commiseration. Con solation is certainly a most difficult office; we never can discharge it well, if we do not undertake it rather with a heart disposed to perform it as a duty, than with a mind prepared to enter upon it as a field wherein we may display our powers. The great evil that persecutes conversation, intrudes also into this part of social intercourse; I mean vanity. Though nothing is so galling to the excoriated heart as reproof, most comforters are apt to consider censure as the grand specific for woe. "Miserable comforters are ye all," said Job to the declaimers who crowded round him to tell him that his sins deserved chastisement. The sons and daughters of affliction oftener |