And the fame law ordains a pudding then, "To children grateful, nor unfit for men. "Take hens, geese, turkeys, then, or something light, "Because their legs if broil'd will serve at night; "And fince I find that roast beef makes you fleep, 30 "Corn it a little more and so it will keep. "Roast it on Monday; pity it should be fpoil'd: "On Tuesday mutton either roaft or boil'd: ""On Wednesday should be some variety, 35 "A loin or breast of veal and pigeon pie : "On Thursday each man of his dish make choice; "'Tis fit on market-days we all rejoice: " And then on Friday, as I faid before, "We'll have a dish of fish and one dish more: "On Saturday stew'd beef with something nice, 40 "Provided quick and toss'd up in a trice, " Because that in the afternoon you know " By custom we must to the alehouse go; "For elfe how should our houses ere be clean "Except we gave some time to do it then? 45 " And very good ones, as I fo may fay. "After each meal let us take a hearty cup; 50 "Now for the application and the ufe. " I found your care for Sunday an abuse: " All would be asking, Pray, Sir, where d' you dine? "I have roast beef, choice ven'son, turkey, chine."55 "Ev'ry one is hawling me. Then say poor I "It is a bitter bus'ness to deny. "But who is it cares for fourteen meals a-day? "As for my own part I had rather slay and here and there, "And take them now and then THE MONARCH. 61 65 WHEN the young people ride the skimmington 5 Her vocal thunder and her briny rain. 10 And whilst she does her coffee fresh prepare "Pray, Mrs. Jenny *, whence came this report, 15 "For I believe there is no great reafon for 't, 20 "As if the folks th' other day swept your door, " And half a dozen of your neighbours more?" "There isnothing in it," says Jenny*; "that is done "Where the wife rules, but here I rule alone; " And Gentlemen, you'd much mistaken be "If any one should not think that of the. "Within these walls my fuppliant vassals know "What due obedience to their prince they owe, "And kiss the shadow of my papal toe. "My word is a law: when I my pow'r advance "There is not a greater Monarch ev'n in France. "Not the Mogul or Czar of Muscovy, 25 Not Prester John or Cham of Tartary, "Are in their houses Monarch more than I. 30 "My house my castle is, and here I'm king; "I'm pope, I'm emp'ror, Monarch, ev'ry thing. "What tho' my wife be partner of my bed? "The Monarch's crown fits only on this head." } 1 35 His wife had plaguy ears as well as tongue, And hearing all thought his difcourse too long: Her confcience faid he should not tell fuch lies, And to her knowledge fuch; she therefore cries, "D'ye hear-you-Sirrah- Monarch-there?- "Come down 39 "And grind the coffee or I'll crack your crown." * So in the copy from which we print, though it is evidently the Monarch himself who fpeaks, Volume II, M THE GARDEN PLOT, 1709. WHEN Naboth's Vineyard look'd so fine S "Shall Naboth make a monarch mourn? "A king and weep! The ground is your own; "I'll vest the Garden in the crown." With that she hatch'd a Plot, and made Poor Naboth answer with his head; And when his harmless blood was spilt The ground became the forfeit of his guilt. Poor Hall, renown'd for comely hair, 15 20 Wisely foresaw he might have reason 25 Therefore refolv'd in humble fort 29 THE ART OF MAKING PUDDINGS. I. HASTYPUDDING. I SING of food by British nurse design'd To make the stripling brave and maiden kind; Sometimes the frugal matron feems in haste, 15 20 |