And the fame law ordains a pudding then, "To children grateful, nor unfit for men. “Take hens, geese, turkeys, then, or something light, “ Because their legs if broil'd will serve at night; “And fince I find that roast beef makes you sleep, 30 "Corn it a little more and so it will keep. "Roaft it on Monday; pity it fhould be spoil'd: "On Tuesday mutton either roaft or boil'd: "On Wednesday should be fome variety, "A loin or breaft of veal and pigeon pie : “ On Thursday each man of his dish make choice ; “'Tis fit on market-days we all rejoice : "And then on Friday, as I said before, 35 "We'll have a difh of fish and one dish more: "On Saturday ftew'd beef with something nice, 40 Provided quick and tofs'd up in a trice, "Because that in the afternoon you know "By custom we must to the alehouse go; "For elfe how should our houses ere be clean "Except we gave fome time to do it then? "From whence, unless we value not our lives, "None part without rememb'ring firft our wives. "But these are standing rules for ev'ry day, "And very good ones, as I fo may fay. "After each meal let us take a hearty cup; "And where we dine it is fitting that we fup. "Now for the application and the ufe. "I found your care for Sunday an abuse: 45 50 "All would be asking, Pray, Sir, where d' "I have roaft beef, choice ven'fon, turkey, chine."55 "Ev'ry one is hawling me. Then say poor I "It is a bitter bus'nefs to deny. "But who is it cares for fourteen meals a-day? "As for my own part I had rather flay "And take them now and then-and here and there, According to my present bill of fare. 61 "You know I'm fingle: if you all agree "To treat by turns each will be sure of me." The Veftry all applauded with a hum, And the fev'n wifeft of them bad him come. 65 THE MONARCH. WHEN the young people ride the skimmington Th' other on this ungrateful subject falls. 10 25 20 "Pray, Mrs. Jenny *, whence came this report, 15 "For I believe there is no great reason for 't, "As if the folks th' other day swept your door, "And half a dozen of your neighbours more?” "There is nothing in it," fays Jenny *; "that is done "Where the wife rules, but here I rule alone; "And Gentlemen, you 'd much mistaken be "If any one should not think that of me. "Within these walls my fuppliant vaffals know "What due obedience to their prince they owe, "And kifs the fhadow of my papal toe. "My word is a law: when I my pow'r advance "There is not a greater Monarch ev'n in France. "Not the Mogul or Czar of Mufcovy, "Not Prefter John or Cham of Tartary, "Are in their houfes Monarch more than I. My houfe my caftle is, and here I'm king; “I'm pope, I'm emp'ror, Monarch, ev'ry thing. "What tho' my wife be partner of my bed? "The Monarch's crown fits only on this head." His wife had plaguy ears as well as tongue, 35 And hearing all thought his discourse too long : Her confcience faid he should not tell fuch lies, And to her knowledge fuch; the therefore cries, "D'ye hear-you-Sirrah-Monarch-there?- "Come down 30 39 "And grind the coffee-or I'll crack your crown." So in the copy from which we print, though it is evidently the Monarch himself who speaks. Volume II, M THE GARDEN PLOT, 1709. WHEN Naboth's Vineyard look'd fo fine The king cry'd out " Would this were mine!" To bring the owners to a fale. "Shall Naboth make a monarch mourn? "A king and weep! The ground is your own; "I'll veft the Garden in the crown." With that she hatch'd a Plot, and made Poor Naboth anfwer with his head; And when his harmless blood was spilt The ground became the forfeit of his guilt. 15 20 25 Therefore refolv'd in humble fort Gave a third part to save th' other two. 29 THEARTOF MAKING PUDDINGS. I. HASTY PUDDING. I SING of food by British nurse design'd To make the stripling brave and maiden kind; The pleasures of our life and finews of our verse; A tender modefty and trembling love, Sometimes the frugal matron feems in hafte, For if burnt milk fhould to the bottom flick, ΤΟ 20 |