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to plunder, or loss, or diminution: no man hath bled, no widow or orphan hath wept, for my enriching: the only difference is this; you are miserable, and think yourself happy; I am happy, whom you think miserable: however our thoughts may bear us out in both for a while, yet, at the last, except truth itself can deceive us, the issue must fall on my side. O God, be thou my portion, and the lot of mine inheritance: let the scum of the world spit in my face, as the most despicable of all creatures: I am above the despight of men and devils, and am secretly happy, and shall be eternally glorious.

XXXV.

ACCEPTATION OF DESIRES.

WHAT a comfort it is to us weak wretches, that we have to deal with a merciful God, that measures us, not by our performances, but by the truth of our desires! David had a good mind to build God a house; his hands were too bloody to lay the foundation of so holy a fabric: yet God takes it as kindly from him, as if he had finished the work; and rewards the intention of building a house to his name, with the actual building of a house to David for ever. Good Hezekiah knew how easy and welcome a suit he made, when, after all endeavours of sanctifying the people for the celebration of that great passover, he prayed, The Lord pardon every one, that prepareth his heart to seek God, the Lord God of his fathers, though he be not cleansed according to the purification of the sanctuary; 2 Chron. xxx. 18, 19. Alas, we cannot be but lame, in all our obediences. What can fall from defective causes, but imperfect effects? If we pray, we are apt to entertain unmeet notions of the Infinite Spirit to whom we address our supplications, and sudden glances of wandering thoughts: if we read or hear, we are subject to vain distractions: if we approach God's Table, our souls fail of that exact preparation and purity, wherewith they should be decked, when they come to that celestial banquet: if we do the works of justice or mercy, it is not without some light touch of self-respect; and, well may we say with the blessed Apostle, The good, that I would, I do not; Rom. vii. 19: we should, therefore, find just cause of discouragement in ourselves, if our best actions were to be weighed by their own worth, and not by our better intentions: but that gracious God, who puts good desires into us, is so ready to accept of them, that he looks not so much at what we have done, as at what we wished to have done; and, without respect to our defects, crowns our good affections. All that I can say for myself, O my God, is, that the desire of my heart is to please thee in all things: my comfort then is, though my

abilities fail in the performance, yet thy mercies cannot fail in my acceptation.

XXXVI.

HEAVENLY JOYS.

DOUBTLESS, O God, thou, that hast given to men, even thine enemies, here upon earth, so excellent means, to please their outward senses; such beautiful faces and admirable flowers, to delight the eye; such delicate scents from their garden, to please the smell; such curious confections and delicate sauces, to please the taste; such sweet music from the birds, and artificial devices of ravishing melody from the art of man, to delight the ear; hast much more ordained transcendent pleasures and infinite contentments, for thy glorified Saints above. My soul, while it is thus clogged and confined, is too strait to conceive of those incomprehensible ways of spiritual delectation, which thou hast provided for thy dear chosen ones, triumphing with thee in thy heaven. Oh, teach me to wonder at that, which I cannot here attain to know; and to long for that happiness, which I there hope to enjoy with thee for ever.

XXXVII.

MIXED CONTENTMENTS.

WHAT a fool were I, if I should think to find that, which Solomon could not; contentment upon earth! His greatness, wealth, and wisdom gave him opportunity to search, where my impotency is shut out: were there any thing under heaven free from vanity and vexation, his curious inquisition could not have missed it. No, alas, all our earthly contentments are like a Jewish Passover, which we must eat with sour herbs. Have I wealth? I cannot be void of cares: have I honour? I cannot be rid of envy: have I knowledge? He, that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow; saith the kingly Preacher have I children? it were strange, if without crosses: have I pleasures? not without sting: have I health? not without the threats of disease: have I full diet? not without the inconveniences of satiety have I beauty? not without a snare to my soul. Thus it is, in all our sublunary comforts : I cannot have the rose, but I must be content with the prickles. Pure and absolute pleasure dwells elsewhere, far above the reach of this vale of misery. O God, give me to seek it there only; not without a contemptuous neglect of all those deceitful vanities, which would withdraw my soul from thee: and there let me find it, while I am here, by faith; when I remove hence, by personal fruition. In the mean time, let me take what thou givest me with patience

and thankfulness; thankfulness for the meat, and patience with the sauce.

XXXVIII.

TRUE WEALTH.

O

ALL a man's wealth, or poverty, is within himself: it is not the outward abundance or want, that can make the difference. Let a man be never so rich in estate, yet if his heart be not satisfied, but he is still whining, and scraping, and pining for more, that man is miserably poor: all his bags cannot make him other, than a stark beggar. On the other side, give me a man of small means, whose mind is thoroughly content with a little, and enjoys his pittance with a quiet and thankful heart, that man is exceeding rich: all the world cannot rob him of his wealth. It is not having, by which we can measure riches; but enjoying. The earth hath all treasures in it, yet no man styles it rich. Of these, which the world call goods of fortune, only opinion sets the value. Gold and silver would be metals, whether we think them so, or not: they would not be riches, if men's conceit and institution did not make them such. my soul, be not thou carried away with the common error, to covet and admire those things, which have no true worth in themselves if both the Indies were thine, thou shouldst be no whit the wealthier: labour for those riches, whereby thy stock may be advanced. The great Lord of All, who knows best where his wealth lies, and where thou shouldst hoard up thine, hath told thee, where to seek it, where to lay it: Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven; Matt. vi. 19, 20. There, thou shalt be sure to find it entire; free from plunder, and all danger of diminution. O God, give me to covet, that my mind may be rich in knowledge; that my soul may be rich in grace; that my heart may be rich in true contentation: as for this pelf of the world, let it make them miserable, that admire it.

XXXIX.

FALSE LIGHT.

LOOKING forth, one starry evening, my eye met with a glorious light, that seemed fairer than its fellows. While I was studying what planet it might be, it suddenly glided down, and vanished. O God, how can we hope to avoid delusions upon earth, when even the face of heaven may thus deceive us? It is no otherwise in the firmament of the Church: how many have there been, that have seemed eternally fixed in that high

sphere, which have proved no other than base meteors, gilded with fair beams! they appeared stars; their substance was but slime. Woe were to the earth, if a true star should fall. Yea, I doubt whether the fabric of heaven would stand, if one of those glorious lights should drop down. If, therefore, the star Wormwood shall fall, and embitter the waters, he shall shew himself to be but a false star, and a true impostor; else heaven should fall, as soon as he. O my God, give me grace to know the truth of my substance, and the firmness of my station let me hate all counterfeit exaltations: let me know myself the least and most insensible star of thy galaxy: so shall I be happy in thee; and thou shalt be by me glorified.

XL.

THE HASTE OF DESIRE.

How slowly the hours seem to pace, when we are big with the desire and expectation of any earthly contentment! We are ready to chide the time for standing still, when we would over-hasten the fruition of our approaching comfort. So the school-boy longs for his play-day; the apprentice, for his freedom; the ward, for his livery; the bride, for her nuptials; the heir, for his inheritance: so approvedly true is that of wise Solomon, Hope deferred makes the heart sick; Prov. xiii. 12. Were it not, O my soul, for that wretched infidelity, which cleaves so close unto thee, thou couldst not but be thus affected to thy heaven; and shouldst be yet so much more, as the joys there are infinitely more exquisite than those, which this earth can afford. Surely, thou dost but flatter me with the over-weening conceit of the firm apprehension of my faith, while I find thee so cool in the longing desires of thy glorification. What! hast thou no stomach to thy happiness? Hath the world benumbed thee with such a dull stupidity, that thou art grown regardless and insensible of eternal blessedness? Oh, shake off this lethargic heaviness of spirit, which hath possessed thee; and rouse up thyself to those ardent desires of glory, which have sometimes enflamed thee. Yea, Lord, do thou stir up that heavenly fire, that now lies raked up in the embers of my soul; and ravish my heart, with a longing desire of thy salvation.

XLI.

DEATH'S REMEMBRANCERS.

EVERY thing, that I see, furnishes me with fair monitions of my dissolution. If I look into my garden, there I see some flowers fading, some withered: if I look to the earth, I see that

mother, in whose womb I must lie: if I go to Church, the graves, that I must step over in my way, shew me what I must trust to if I look to my table, death is in every dish; since what I feed on, did once live: if I look into my glass, I cannot but see death in my face: if I go to my bed, there I meet with sleep, the image of death; and the sheets, which put me in mind of my winding up: if I look into my study, what are all those books, but the monuments of other dead authors? O my soul, how canst thou be unmindful of our parting, when thou art plied with so many monitors? Cast thine eyes abroad into the world, what canst thou see, but killing and dying? Cast thine eyes up into heaven, how canst thou but think of the place of thy approaching rest? How justly then may I say with the Apostle, By our rejoicing, which I have in Christ Jesus, I die daily! I Cor. xv. 31. And, Lord, as I daily die, in the decay of this frail nature; so let me die daily, in my affection to life, in my preparation for death. Oh, do thou fit me for that last and happy change. Teach me so to number my days, that I may apply my heart to wisdom, and address it to ensuing glory.

XLII.

FAITH'S VICTORY.

WE are here in a perpetual warfare, and fight we must: surely, either fight or die. Some there are, that do both: that is, according as the quarrel is, and is managed. There are those, that fight against God: these, meddling with so unequal a match, cannot look to prevail. Again, the flesh warreth against the spirit: this intestine rebellion cannot hope to prosper. But if, with the Chosen Vessel, I can say, I have fought a good fight, (2 Tim. iv. 7), I can neither lose life, nor miss of victory. And what is that good fight? Even the same Apostle tells me, The fight of faith; 1 Tim. vi. 12. This is the good fight indeed; both in the cause, and managing, and the issue. Lo, this faith it is, that wins God to my side; that makes the Almighty mine; that not only engages him in my cause, but unites me to him, so as his strength is mine. In the power of his might, therefore, I cannot but be victorious over all my spiritual enemies, by the only means of this faith. For Satan, this shield of faith is it, that shall quench all the fiery darts of that wicked one; Eph. vi. 16. For the world; this is the victory that overcomes the world; even our faith; 1 John v. 4. Be sure to find thyself furnished with this grace; and then say, "O my soul, thou hast marched valiantly: the powers of hell shall not be able to stand before thee: they are mighty, and have all advantages of a spiritual nature, of long duration, and experience, of place, of subtlety; yet this con

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