no peace to be expected from him that sits thereon? No, no. Then what ails me? Is not eternal felicity secured, a noble panacea, and sufficient antidote against the heaviest misfortunes of a deceitful world? What avail a faithless flatterer, a falsifying friend, a violated promise, a mob of backbiters, disappointment of a place, a worldly loss, a broken purpose, a thwarted enterprize, expectation vain, and hope, though a long expectant, in the issue bringing forth nothing but wind? What avail all these, in comparison of the everlasting interests of my immortal soul? But, if these afflictions make me miserable, shall I make myself more miserable still, by handling the coals that burn me, and reading over the register of my misfortunes, which will be forgot in eternity, as the waters that flow away. Hów, then, shall I antedate eternity, and anticipate the felicity of the world to come, but by forgetting my miseries in the triumph of faith?

Moreover, these many turnings, and stupendous meanders of my life, are all squared by the straight line of the decree of God, with whom nothing is crooked. The seeming gaps of my lot are but the fulfilment of Heaven's design concerning me, and my repeated disappointments are only the accomplishment of the counsel of God.

Besides, who can tell what Heaven has in reserve for me? It is good to wait on God, and expect good at his hand. "Ah!" says unbelief, "nothing at present appears." Hush! thou atheistical monster, wilt thou limit Omnipotence, or allege, that infinite wisdom is nonplussed, and Almighty power not able to perform? I shall yet see his kindness large as my faith, and his mercy measure with my widest expectations. May I never get the desire of my heart

but with God's blessing, nor the request of my lips but with his good will.

This is, indeed, consolation to me, that no sinister views stare ghastly in my face, when so many struggling thoughts pass through my suffering heart. If my sin be a sin of ignorance, pardon me, and show me wherefore thou contendest with me.-But, perhaps my heart was too much set on my favourite desire, which, though lawful in itself, might by that become unlawful. So Esop hugged his child to death, out of too much fondness. Then let me keep within the due bounds of esteem henceforth to every thing below, and take a loose hold of all earthly things, that when they are twisted out of my hand, they may not torment my heart.

But why disquieted, my soul? Why uneasy still? Recal thy past life, and lay it down before thee, and mark, if thou canst, when thou hadst any reason to complain of Heaven's procedure toward thee. Have not things, which, at their first appearance, seemed adverse like this, turned out at last for good? Say, when thou reviewest the whole, say, if thou darest, if ever God dealt ill with thee! No; every providence will prove the contrary; every mercy will aver ; yea, every change of life, every crook of lot will seal it.

But, seeing this is thy work, O God! the effect of thine ever-equal will, I ought not only to be dumb, but rejoice in it, and be glad in what thou hast wrought, however it appear to me, and wonder that thou shouldst concern thyself with me, so as to disappoint my ignorant designs (such may my schemes, plans, and enterprises be.) Hence I bless thee for all that befals me, if I have not a sinful hand in it; and if I have, I plead for pardon through Christ's meritorious name.

Now, I rest, and am composed, and calmly wait on thee, resigned to Heaven's determination, in every thing concerning me in time, till I arrive at that better country, at that perfect state, where there is neither disappointment nor pain.

MEDITATION XII.

EXPERIENCE.

How good is it to wait on God, and bode kindness

at his hand! When hope is gone, and all endeavours rendered useless, his watchful providence grants me my request, opens a door for me, and does all that I desire. O how I admire the kindness of his love, and the wise disposal of his providence! When disappointments thronged thick upon me, I knew not what to think, or what to do; but through thy grace, I waited for thy counsel, and have not waited in vain. Thy time, thy way, thy method, are the best, who clearly seest through dark scenes, and knowest my frame, and better what suits it, than the deepest penetration of my heart ever can.

Now, when I have for many years, as it were, tried the dispensation of providence, what have I to say against it? Nothing. For, what at first appeared dark and intricate, in a little was clear and intelligible; yea, sometimes that scene which seemed most gloomy on the outer wheel, when the inner wheel revolved, shone most glorious, even to astonishment; so that, what has in the beginning extorted desponding thoughts from me, has in the end excited me to songs of praise.

In the part of my life that is already past, and in the scenes of providence that are already cleared up, I cheerfully confess, and sing, He hath done all things well. This is confirmed to me by the experience of many years; so that I may blush, when I see some of the mysteries of Providence in part unriddled, that I have had such low apprehensions of the love and goodness of God, measuring his wisdom by my shallow comprehension, his power by my cramped span, his love by my unbelief; his goodness by my evil eye, and his ways with me by my ways with him; yea, I have been base enough, in every new scene of providence, to fall anew into the same sin, and subject myself anew unto the same shame and blushing.

"Experience is the schoolmaster of fools," says the proverb; but what a fool must I be, who will not be instructed by all I have seen! Or why should I have one hard thought of the circumstances with which I am at present entangled? Though in many things I have yet the dark, and not the bright side of the cloud towards me, yet I should not have the least hard conclusion on the conduct of unerring Providence, but wait till it be accomplished, and cleared up to me. But how shall I blush (were it possible) and be confounded at my mean thoughts of God and his providence, when the wandering labyrinth that composed my life shall be unriddled in the noon-day of glory, to my unspeakable joy, and everlasting admiration. As I cannot recal these doubts that now distract my breast, to convert them into acts of faith; nor these murmurings to hush them into silent resignation; I should study now to glorify God in the deepest valley of misery, and darkest night of adversity, by thinking highly and

honourably of him who governs both heaven and earth. Finally, how sweet must that day be to my soul, when my experience shall confirm and confess the kind end of every providence; and providence shall sweetly explain and accomplish the promise; and all shall join in one voice for ever. Not one good thing hath failed of all that the Lord hath spoken.

MEDITATION XIII.

CONTENTMENT.

WHAT wouldst thou have, O my soul! to make thee content? Thou hast much in hand, and more in hope: Thou hast the comforts of life, and the means of salvation; the word preached, and the sacraments dispensed; an open vision, and an English Bible. Thou hast the possession of the life that now is, and the promise of that which is to come. If thou art not so happy as some, thou art not so miserable as others. If there are many in an higher and better state in the world than thou (and shouldst thou quarrel?) there are more in a lower and worse condition (and shouldst not thou wonder?)

If thou get bread to eat, and raiment to put on, any thing with a blessing, it is much, seeing thou deservest to be fed with the curse. It is mercy that thou art an inhabitant of God's earth, who mightest have been a prisoner in the pit of devouring fireThou hast cause of cordial exultation, that God is not as yet inexorable; and it may content thee in any condition, that God doth not contend with thee Art thou not ashamed to wish for much, when thou hast forfeited all? Wouldst thou have the

for ever.

D