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am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Now, were not I a little pot, and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me. But I, with blowing the fire, shall warm myself; for, considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold. Holla ! hoa! Curtis !
Enter CURTIS. Curt. Who is that calls so coldly?
Gru. A piece of ice. If thou doubt it, thou mayst slide from my shoulder to my heel, with no greater run but my head and my neck.
neck. A fire, good Curtis. Curt. Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio ?
Gru. O, ay, Curtis, ay; and therefore fire, fire. cast on no water.1
Curt. Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported ?
Gru. She was, good Curtis, before this frost ; but thou knowest, winter tames man, woman, and beast; for it hath tamed my old master, and my new mistress, and myself, fellow Curtis.
Curt. Away, thou three-inch fool! I am no beast !
Gru. Am I but three inches ? Why, thy horn is a foot; and so long am I, at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand (she being now at hand) thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office ?
Curt. I pr’ythee, good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world ?
Gru. A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and, therefore, fire. Do thy duty, and have thy duty; for my master and mistress are almost frozen to death.
Curt. There's fire ready; and, therefore, good Grumio, the news ?
1 There is an old popular catch of three parts in these words :-
“Scotland burneth, Scotland burneth,
Fire, fire; -Fire, fire,
Gru. Why, Jack boy! ho boy!! and as much news as thou wilt.
Curt. Come, you are so full of cony-catching:
Gru. Why, therefore, fire ; for I have caught extreme cold. Where's the cook?
Where's the cook? Is supper ready, the house trimmed, rushes strewed, cobwebs swept ; the serving-men in their new fustian, their white stockings, and every officer his wedding garment on ? Be the jacks fair within, the jills ? fair without, the carpets laid, and every thing in order?
Curt. All ready; and therefore I pray thee, news.
Gru. First, know, my horse is tired; my master and mistress fallen out.
Gru. Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby hangs a tale.
Curt. Let's ha't, good Grumio.
[Striking him. Curt. This is to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.
Gru. And therefore 'tis called a sensible tale; and this cuff was but to knock at your ear, and beseech listening. Now I begin. Imprimis, we came down a foul hill, my master riding behind my mistress ;
Curt. Both on one horse?
Gru. Tell thou the tale. -But hadst thou not crossed me, thou shouldst have heard how her horse fell, and she under her horse; thou shouldst have heard in how miry a place; how she was bemoiled ;* how he left her with the horse upon her; how he beat me because her horse stumbled ; how she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me; how he swore;
1 This is the beginning of an old round in three parts; the music is given in the Variorum Shakspeare.
2 It is probable that a quibble was intended. Jack and jill signify two drinking vessels, as well as men and maid-servants.
3 The carpets were laid over the tables. The floors, as appears from the present passage and others, were strewed with rushés.
4 i. c. bedraggled, bemired,
how she prayed—that never prayed before; how I cried; how the horses ran away; how her bridle was burst; how I lost my crupper ;—with many things of worthy memory; which now shall die in oblivion, and thou return unexperienced to thy grave.
Curt. By this reckoning, he is more shrew than she.
Gru. Ay; and that thou and the proudest of you all shall find, when he comes home. But what talk I of this ?—Call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop, and the rest ; let their heads be sleekly combed, their blue coats' brushed, and their garters of an indifferent knit; let them curtsey with their left legs; and not presume to touch a hair of my master's horse-tail, till they kiss their hands. Are they all ready?
Curt. They are.
hear, ho? You must meet my master to countenance my mistress.
Gru. Why, she hath a face of her own.
Gru. Thou, it seems; that callest for company to countenance her.
Curt. I call them forth to credit her.
Enter several Servants.
Nath. Welcome home, Grumio.
Gru. Welcome, you ;-how now, you ; what, you ; -fellow, you ;—and thus much for greeting. Now, my spruce companions, is all ready, and all things neat?
1 Blue coats were the usual habits of servants. Scott, in Marmion, speaks of the “old blue-coated serving-man.”
Nath. All things is ready. How near is our master?
Gru. E'en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore be not -Cock's passion, silence I hear my master.
Enter PETRUCHIO and KATHARINA. Pet. Where be these knaves ? What, no man at
All Serv. Here, here, sir ; here, sir.
Gru. Here, sir ; as foolish as I was before.
Gru. Nathaniel's coat, sir, was not fully made, And Gabriel's pumps were all un pinked i’the heel; There was no link i to color Peter's hat, And Walter's dagger was not come from sheathing. There were none fine, but Adam, Ralph, and Gregory; The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly ; Yet, as they are, here are they come to meet you. Pet. Go, rascals, go, and fetch my supper in.
[Exeunt some of the Servants. Where is the life that late I led ?—?
[Sings. Where are those -sit down, Kate, and welcome. Soud, soud, soud, soud !3
1 Green, in his Mihil Mumchance, says, “ This cozenage is used like. wise in selling old hats found upon dunghills, instead of newe, blackt over with the smoake of an olde link.”
2 This ballad was well suited to Petruchio, as appears by the answer in A Handeful of Pleasant Delites, 1584; which is called “ Dame Beautie's replie to the lover late at libertie, and now complaineth him to be her captive,” entitled, “ Where is the life that late I led?”
3 A word coined by Shakspeare to express the noise made by a person heated and fatigued.
Re-enter Servants, with
supper. Why, when, I say?-Nay, good, sweet Kate, be merry Off with my boots, you rogues, you villains.
As he forth walked on his way,—
[Strikes him. Be merry,
Kate.—Some water, here; what, ho! Where's my spaniel Troilus ?—Sirrah, get you hence, And bid my cousin Ferdinand come hither;
Exit Servant. One, Kate, that you must kiss, and be acquainted
with.Where are my slippers ?--Shall I have some water?
[A basin is presented to him. Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily.—
[Servant lets the ewer fall. You whoreson villain! will you let it fall ?
[Strikes him. Kath. Patience, I pray you ; 'twas a fault unwilling.
Pet. A whoreson, beetle-headed, flap-eared knave! Come, Kate, sit down ; I know you have a stomach. Will you give thanks, sweet Kate; or else shall I ?What is this ? mutton ? 1 Serv.
Who brought it? 1 Serv.
I. Pet. 'Tis burnt; and so is all the meat. What dogs are these !—Where is the rascal cook ? How durst you, villains, bring it from the dresser, And serve it thus to me that love it not? There, take it to you, trenchers, cups, and all :
[Throws the meat, &c. about the stage.
1 Dr. Percy has constructed his beautiful ballad, “ The Friar of Orders Gray,” from the various fragments and hints dispersed through Shak speare's plays, with a few supplemental stanzas.