be there in no time, and bhack in half that same lhittle period."

66

O'Shine, I know you. You are aware these things can't be asked in propria personá. My modesty wouldn't let me do it. That is the grand use of letters. Many an impudent thing one can say on paper, which one would not dare to say oneself. I asked Julia to marry me, through the penny post. By the way, don't you think this love affair of mine rather hard ?"

66

'By this and by that, now, Jhulia mhust whait 'til I come bhack, to be talked about. Shure you're not coming now. Stay at home, man; keep a good fire, and in a jhiffy I'm back wid de atables."

I sank back in my chair, quite overcome at the prospect. Meanwhile O'Shine stuck his hat on his head, pulled on his gloves, put his umbrella under his arm, and prepared to depart.

"And the tailhor's boy-och, I did him beautiful! I tould him ye'd got three dhocters all this blessed t'hyme; that it was their unanimous affidavy ye couldn't be disturbed; ye had, I said, the inanition low fever, the chief sign of which sthrange malady is excessive ghrumbling in the intarnals, an utter prostration of the oesophagus, a vacuum in the phylorus, and an excissive quhantity of chyle in the duodenum. you see I havn't bin a medichal student for nothing. But I'm aff."

So

Mr. O'Shine then whisked down stairs, and had almost turned the corner ere I could throw up the window. I could scarcely refrain from laughing, as, leaning across the leaden conduit-vulgo gutter-I remarked that he took the longest route to avoid passing a cook-shop, where he saw the proprietor standing at the door. O'Shine was considerate; he owed the man a trifle, and wished to spare his feelings; "for shure he was able to owe it." I re-shut the window, sat down, and endeavoured to read. It was in vain. I knew very well I had made a rash attempt. Monday was the day for going over the Weekly Slasher's accounts, and it was hardly possible my mission could prove successful. They would not have time to attend to it. I took a knife, wiped it clean-that was unnecessary, it was guiltless of bread and butter-and began patiently to cut open the pages of the magazine which lay on the table. The idea of how much it would fetch round the corner, in case of failure on the part of Septimus, was, however, the only idea that dwelt on my mind. Disgusted with my mercenary feelings, I rose and walked the room, never reflecting that thereby I was gaining an appetite. Nothing, too, more annoying, more vexatious, than to perambulate a small apartment-there were so

many turns and corners! But, for the life of me, I could not sit still. I was vexed-annoyed that I did not go with Septimus; he was, however, gone, and resignation was a necessary virtue.

Eleven o'clock.-Rat, rat! The postman! a letter from Julia. Reproaches, tears, and threatenings. She had received the letter asserted a most awful account of my life and character. Who could have been blabbing? It concluded,

"I hope you can clear yourself. I take tea Wednesday evening with Mr. O'Leary and his wife: perhaps I may meet you there. My father is out of town for a few days. Your true but sad

JULIA."

"The devil take that Septimus!" thought I to myself; "eleven past, and not back yet. I shall perish an ignoble victim to famine. Julia takes tea with Jocastus: by Jove I go. I wish it were this morning though. I am just in the humour. Tea, toast, muffins, and Julia! By the immortal gods, come night, come morning, and come night again. D-- that Septimus; he'll never be back. Caggs out of town-now is my time or never, to get married. But will she join me here? O'Shine, I forswear you. It is abominable, atrocious, thus to keep a hungry man upon the rack. Julia-humph! to-morrow evening -thirty-six hours. If I have nothing to eat until then-tomorrow evening, tea and Julia-and after, supper and Juliaalways Julia. Oh that the too, too solid hours would melt, and bring me to to-morrow even! Ah! Is it a supper that I see before me?-Shakspeare. Humph! Septimus, you have the heart of a crocodile, the stomach of a camel. If I only could borrow that of an ostrich, and digest iron, yonder poker would do to begin with."

I here sank into my chair, overcome by the excess of my emotions; an inward groan was re-echoed from my heart. I took in three inches of my blouse-belt. A new source of vexation here arose. Wouldn't my landlady smell a rat? I only wished I could have done so, that's all. I say no more. idea, however, of having your misfortunes known over the house was maddening. A bright idea struck me! I rang my bell.

The

"Mrs. Mutton," said I, as soon as the deputy Hecate appeared, "I didn't have supper at the Cider Cellars until four this morning; don't feel peckish, and my friend breakfasted at seven; so you see we hav'nt much chance of an appetite. We shall lunch, however, about one; secure me the frying-pan, and bring it up as soon as you can."

"Werry vell, sir. My missus was a saying as how she thought you hadn't the tin for to git breakfast.'

"D- your mistress," exclaimed I, as the talkative, half

silly beldame left the room; "if I say a word, though, you'l get turned out for repeating her impertinence. I'll leave here next week-that is, if I can pay my rent."

Such was the agreeable result of my great stroke of general ship.

Twelve o'clock.-Five hours since I awoke, two and a half since the departure of my messenger. What could have become of Mr. Septimus O'Shine? Perhaps hunger had overcome his sense of decorum, and now, at the very instant of time when I was ready to faint, he was snugly ensconced in the box of some well-known house, regaling himself with his favourite stop-gap, coffee and rashers. The idea of his imbibing coffee made me boil; at the bare thought of rashers, I fumed. Perhaps the thought was horrible and ghastly-he had failed, and had, in sheer spite, fallen down dead on the road. Disappointment has produced more powerful results. But Septimus-visions of coroner's inquests froze up my veins. I clapped my hat upon my head, and prepared to sally forth. "Where?" whispered Reason.

I sank once more into my chair. My hunger was now intense; nay, awful. I put my head out of window, and looked camibalism at every woman that passed. They did look more eatable than the men. But I soon retired-a female, carrying home a baked shoulder of mutton, offended the delicacy of my olfactory nerves. But I could not remain five minutes in one position. I threw up the window again, and leaned out-two minutes passed, when my eye caught sight of an advancing figure. It was Alphonse Jujube, a French friend of mine'; I should say acquaintance-he was one of Jullien's clacqueurs! I read his errand in his walk, and also in his ancient Mackin tosh, which was never put on save when the coat was en voyage. He was come to borrow money. My indignation was roused. I rushed to the landing, ringing my bell at the same time. "Mrs. Mutton," screamed I at the top of my voice.

"Sir."

"I am at home to no one to-day but Mr. O'Shine." Rat, tat, tat! ding, ding, ding! I listened.

"Monsieur Boogins at hom?"

"No, sir."

"Nevère mind, I call in von hour."

I re-entered my apartment, threw myself into a chair once more, and remained in silent contemplation until Mrs. Mutton interrupted me, bringing in the frying-pan. She laid it near the coal-box, and retired.

One o'clock.-No Septimus!-A quarter past. He rings, enters; I was listening on the landing. His step was slow; I closed the door, and sank breathless into my old arm chair. I

read my fate in his walk. He opened the door, and walked into the room :

"Och, man, the Weekly Slasher's a brute; shure you must a knowed him. I'll lay a pennhy now he's some cast-off Dhublin report'her—a half-a-farthing-a-line man. Khept me there 'till just now, and then ghive me this stinking piece of pap'her," throwing me a note.

"Humph!" exclaimed I, opening the highly-scented satin envelope. "A check, by Jove!"

O'Shine cut a caper.

"A what?"

"A check, my lad; a check for 3l. 10s.!"

"Shure I know'd it, I said he was a rale gintleman. I could a towld it. Who is it on?"

"A bank in Lombard Street," answered I despairingly; " and I can never wait till you come back from there; I am half dead. Take a cab."

"Divil a hapath, now-whasting the mhoney that-a-way." exclaimed O'Shine, his eyes once more glistening. The man's powers of endurance were awful.

"I'll go with you, then."

"No, no, man! we'd be dhouble the thyme, now. By the whay, there's some fine L.L.' to be got over there. An imperial quart now 'ud do us good this same blessed day."

"My dear fellow, bring any thing you like, only be quick. I'll have a famous fire and every thing else ready. Bring tea and coffee both."

"Shure I know what whe'll be aft'her wanting; aint I a fine messman? Good bhye, my darlin'; I'll be there and bhack dhirectly."

He was off again, and I was once more left alone. I then read the note which accompanied the check.

"The Editor of the Weekly Slasher presents his compliments to Mr. Buggins, and begs to enclose him 37. 10s. on account." I felt happy. It was kind, very kind; and a kind action always pleases me.

Four o'clock.-Septimus not returned yet. I had closed the curtains, lit two moulds, the fire blazed cheerfully, the replenished kettle boiled à merveille. The evening looked delicious; my room was every thing that could be wished, but-the substance was wanting. Could the answer to the check be "no effects?" The very notion was enough to drive a fellow mad! Ding, ding!

It was Septimus. This time he rushed up stairs, opened the door, and caught hold of me.

"Io pæan! shure, my jhewel, look here, there's three phound of fine rashers for ye now. There's the shugar, the tay, the

FEBRUARY, 1846.-No. II. VOL. V.

N

coffee, and there, my boy, 's the whiskey-that's the stuff to raise the cockles of yer heart. But ating before every thing. Make the tay, my boy; sit the rashers a-going. I'm off for the two quartern loaves and the but'her; I'll send the shape for de milk. Čushla machree! who'll tell me the Weekly Slasher isn't the bist pap'her in all existence? I'd like to see his two dhirty eyes that 'ud say it, now."

I did not answer; my heart was full, too full. But I could act and act I did, and to some purpose; for when he rushed up the stairs, holding in each of his outstretched hands a quartern loaf, the rashers were phizzing away, the tea made, the coffee simmering, and in five minutes we were armed with knife and fork, and ready for the conflict. Rat, tat!

"Monsieur Boogins at hom?"

I rushed to the top of the stairs.

"Walk up, Monsieur Jujube," cried I, "walk up; glad to see you."

"By the p'howers, man, is it comp'hany your aft'her now? Shure there's enough anyhow."

"Ah! my dear Jujube, how are you! devilish glad to see you. Take a chair-down with your chapeau. That's right, O'Shine; here's another plate for yourself. M. Jujube will

take a snack with us."

"Shure, my darlin'," exclaimed O'Shine, inserting at the same time a quarter of a pound of rashers into his mouth, "sure I'm p'hroud of the honor of the acquaintance."

"Ah, my goat friend, you very much goat. I have five minute finished my diner; but, pour vous faire plaisir, I will just taste a bit."

"Goat! by Moll Kelly's kettle," whispered Septimus, “he's complimenthary."

"No ceremony, I pray you, gentlemen; fire away!

'Lay on, Macduff,

And damned be he who first cries hold, enough!'

The chatter of knives, plates, forks, and spoons, was the sole answer to my wit,-music to me most welcome.

Half-past five.-The bacon was at this hour non est, as were nearly all the eatables.

Ŏ'Shine, could you manage another rasher?"

Well, if ye vhex me now, I will.”

"Ditto," replied I, " decies repetita placebat."

"Von lettle bit more hog vould not be bad," replied the Frenchman who had just dined.

O'Shine vanished, and in ten minutes the frying-pan was again in requisition.