Sivut kuvina
PDF
ePub

afraid of drawing any certain conclusion concerning the present state of my soul; lest, on the one hand, I deny what the Lord has done for me; or, on the other, presume on what he has not given. On this account, I suffer a good deal of distress, and feel much inclined, if you will permit me, to ask the assistance of your prayers in a particular manner; that the Lord would cause his heavenly light to shine bright into my soul, and thereby scatter every cloud, and do away all degree of painful doubt that I may know the things freely given me of God; and be enabled to give him the glory, and take the comfort to myself. The fiery darts of the enemy I feel at times keenly pointed: you know, I doubt not, the sharp distress these occasion. I trust, all I feel is in mercy, and will be over-ruled for good; but I long much for deliverance, if agreeable to the Divine will. The Lord has given me exceeding great and precious promises, for all I can want both for soul, body, and outward estate; in time, and through eternity: many of which he has accomplished; but the delay of the rest often proves a source of the most painful sensations. I long to be fully established in God's utmost salvation; to be firm as a wall of brass, and as an iron pillar strong. Surely this is his will concerning me. Do, then, dear Miss Ritchie, plead earnestly that I may stand perfect and complete in it; and thereby you will greatly oblige, your affectionate friend, in the bonds of the gospel, D. MAXWELL.”

Such precaution is highly praise-worthy, and deserves to be imitated by all the people of God. A few more extracts from the Diary will conduct to the end of this year.

"October 29. The Lord hath appeared in my behalf, and sent me help from his holy hill, for which I desire to bless him. Last Saturday, he gave me a little reviving in my bondage; and on the succeeding Sabbath, I felt his power, tasted his goodness, and proved his faithfulness. While the enemy was attempting to pour in as a flood, he lifted up a standard; disarmed satan of his malicious power, and armed me with Divine strength. In spite of all opposition, I was enabled to stand still, and see the salvation of God. Since hen, I have enjoyed more comfort, more sweetness in prayer, and vigorous desires to be all for God. Immediately before this revival, I felt stripped of all, except a power to call on the Lord; and, indeed, my heart and flesh cried out for the living God, but this was in the absence of every joyous sensation. Truly God is good to Israel, and though at times he may tarry long, he will avenge his own elect, who night and day cry unto him.

November 19. Since my last date, I have had seasons of trial and of consolation. Last week was a time of severe temptation. I scarcely knew to which hand to turn; yet, in the midst of all, through mercy, I was enabled to cry mightily to

God, and he has heard and sent me deliverance. Yesterday, while conversing with some of his children on religious subjects, he made it a season of refreshing from his presence, both to myself and others. God, the Father and Son, were clear to the eye of my faith; and all within was peace and serenity. This happy frame continued through the day; and to-day, though much tempted, my God is sensibly with me.

December 2. This has truly been a precious day: from morning to night, my peace has flowed as a river. In conversation, the Lord has suggested profitable matter, and given ability to express it. At times my pen, and tongue, move freely; at others, I feel a total incapacity, and labour under a painful stagnation of thought: this convinces me, that the power to use either to purpose, comes from the Lord. Indeed the further I go in the Divine life, the more conscious I am of my entire dependance upon God, and that it is so affords me peculiar pleasure. He is daily teaching me more simplicity of spirit ; makes me willing to receive all as his unmerited gift; and to call upon him for every thing I need, as I need it; and he supplies my wants according to existing exigencies. I perceive I have no stock in myself, on which to depend; every new service demands a fresh supply, and my God is good, and sends me grace to help in the time of need. Much of his goodness I have tasted this day, in secret and social prayer, in conversation, and in meditation. The Lord has also lately re

moved much bodily indisposition. O that health, time, talents, wealth, influence, all, may be used for him. While my God is thus blessing me, the enemy is very busy, varying his temptations, and applying them most powerfully, where perhaps I am weakest: so that, though happy in God, I have almost trembled for fear of their consequences. My only security is in looking to Jesus; but here I obtain relief.

22. This has also been a precious day. My fellowship has been with the Father and Son from morning to night. I have felt wrapt up in Jesus, and found him such a source of calm repose as I cannot express. How trifling and insignificant does all created good appear, when I am thus highly favoured of God. He, in mercy, keeps me sensible of my weakness, while he lets me know where lies my strength; and makes me aware of spiritual pride: my soul trembles at the thought of that dreadful evil. I fly to the feet of Jesus, and there I am safe.

1784.

Diary and Correspondence continued.

January 1. Upon a retrospect of the past year, I find my obligations to God are exceedingly great. Many, very many have been the times of refreshing I have had from him. How many my temporal and spiritual deliverances ! and O, how numerous the answers of prayer with which I have been favoured.

My communion with heaven has been sensibly increased; and, times without number, he has made me sensible of the accomplishment of a promise, powerfully impressed on my mind, several years ago ;-that when I was converted I should strengthen the brethren. In some temporal affairs, he has most wonderfully manifested his goodness in my behalf; and, on many difficult occasions, strengthened and enabled me to confess him before others. Language fails to express what he has done for me; indeed it beggars all expression. I will extol thee, O God, and praise thy name for ever and ever; while I have a being, I will praise thee. Through the whole of last year, I have been kept, panting

« EdellinenJatka »