The brain of this foolish-compounded-clay, Man, is not able to invent any thing that tends to laughter, more than I invent, or is invented on me. 8 only witty in myself, but the caufe that wit is in other men. I do here walk before thee, like a fow, that hath overwhelmed all her litter but onc. If the Prince put thee into my fervice for any other reafon than to fet me off, why, then I have no judgment. Thou whorfon mandrake', thou art fitter to be worn in my cap, than to wait at my heels. I was never mann'd with an agate till now but I will neither fet you in gold nor filver, but in vile apparel, and fend you back again to your mafter, for a jewel: The Juvenal, the Prince your mafter! whofe chin is not yet fledg'd; I will fooner have a beard grow in the palm of my hand, than he fhall get one on his cheek; yet he will not ftick to fay, his face is a face-royal. Heav'n may finish it when it will, it is not a hair amifs yet; he may keep it still as a face-royal, for a barber shall never earn fixpence out of it; and yet he will be crowing, as if he had writ man ever fince his father was a batchelor. He may keep his own grace, but he is almoft out of mine, I can affure him.-What faid Mr. Dombledon, about the fatten of my fhort cloak and Дlops? Page. He faid, Sir, you should procure him better affurance than Bardolph; he would not take his bond and yours, he lik'd not the fecurity. Fal. Let him be damn'd like the Glutton, may his tongue be hotter. A whorfon Achitophel, a rafcally yeaforfooth knave, to bear a gentleman in hand, and then stand upon fecurity. The whorfon-fmooth-pates do now wear nothing but high-fhoes, and bunches of keys at their girdles; and if a man is thorough with them in honeft taking up, then they must stand upon fecurity. I had as lief they would put rats-bane in my mouth, as offer to ftop it with fecurity. I looked he fhould have fent me two and twenty yards of fatten, as I am a true Knight, and he fends me Security. Well, he may fleep in fecurity, for he hath the horn of abundance. And the lightness of his wife fhines through it, and yet cannot he fee, though he have his own lanthorn to light him. Where's Bardolph? Page. He's gone into Smithfield to buy your Worfhip a horfe. Fal. I bought him in Paul's, and he'll buy me a horfe in Smithfield. If I could get me but a wife in the Stews, I were mann'd, hors'd, and wiv'd. I To bear in hand, is to keep in expectation. 2- if a man is thorough with them in boneft taking up,] That is, If a man by taking up goods is in their debt. To be thorough feems to be the fame with the prefent phrafe, to be in with a tradefman. 3 the lightnefs of his wife fines through it, and yet cannot be fee, though he have his own lanthorn to light him.] This joke feems evidently to have been taken from that of Plautus: Quò ambulas tu, qui Vulcanum in cornu conclufum Scene 1. geris. Amph. A& 1. 4 I bought him in Paul's,] At that time the refort of idle people, cheats, and knights of the poft. WARBURTON. SCENE SCENE V. Enter Chief Justice, and Servants. Page. Sir, here comes the Nobleman that committed the Prince for striking him, about Bardolph. Fal. Wait close, I will not fee him. Ch. Juft. What's he that goes there? Serv. Falstaff, an't please your lordship. Ch. Juft. He that was in queftion for the robbery? Serv. He, my lord. But he hath fince done good fervice at Shrewsbury; and, as I hear, is now going with fome charge to the lord John of Lancaster. Ch. Juft. What to York? call him back again. Fal. Boy, tell him I am deaf. Page. You must fpeak louder, my mafter is deaf. Ch. Juft. I am fure, he is, to the hearing of any thing good. Go pluck him by the elbow. I muft speak with him. Serv. Sir John Fal. What! a young knave and beg! are there not wars is there not employment? doth not the King lack Subjects? do not the Rebels need foldiers? though it be a fhame to be on any fide but one, it is worse fhame to beg, than to be on the worst fide, were it worfe than the name of Rebellion can tell how to make it. Serv. You mistake me, Sir. Fal. Why, Sir, did I fay you were an honeft man? fetting my knight-hood and my foldierfhip afide, I had lied in my throat, if I had faid fo. and Serv. I pray you, Sir, then fet your knight-hood your foldiership afide, and give me leave to tell you, you lie in your throat, if you fay I am any other than an honeft man. Fal. I give thee leave to tell me fo? I lay aside that, which grows to me? if thou gett'ft any leave of me, hang me; if thou tak'ft leave, thou wert better be hang'd. You hunt-counter, hence; avaunt. Serv. Sir, my lord would speak with you. Ch. Juft. Sir John Falstaff, a word with you. Fal. My good lord! God give your lordship good time of day. I am glad to fee your lordship abroad; I heard fay, your lordship was fick. I hope, your lordship goes abroad by advice. Your lordship, though not clean past your youth, hath yet fome fmack of age in you; fome relifh of the faltnefs of time; and I most humbly befeech your lordship, to have a reverend care of your health. Ch. Juft. Sir John, I fent for you before your expedition to Shrewsbury. Fal. If it please your lordship, I hear, his Majefty is return'd with fome difcomfort from Wales. Ch. Juft. I talk not of his Majefty. You would not come when I fent for you. Fal. And I hear moreover, his Highness is fallen into this fame whorfon apoplexy. Ch. Juft. Well, heav'n mend him! I pray, let me speak with you. Fal. This apoplexy is, as I take it, a kind of lethargy, an't please your lordship, a kind of fleeping in the blood, a whorfon tingling. Ch. Juft. What tell you me of it? be it, as it is. Fal. It hath its original from much grief; from ftudy and perturbation of the brain. I have read the caufe of it in Galen. It is a kind of deafness. Ch. Juft. I think, you are fallen into that disease: for you hear not what I fay to you. S Fal. Very well, my lord, very well; rather, an't * Hunt-counter.] That is, blunderer. He does not, I think, allude to any relation between the judge's fervant and the counterprifon. s Fal. Very well, my Lord, very please well:] In the Quarto Edition, printed in 1600, this Speech ftands thus ; Old. Very well, my Lord, very well: I had not obferv'd this, when I wrote my Note, to the first part of please you, it is the disease of not lift'ning, the malady of not marking, that I am troubled withal. Ch. Juft. To punish you by the heels, would amend the attention of your ears; and I care not if I do bccome your physician. Fal. I am as poor as Job, my lord, but not fo patient. Your lordship may minifter the potion of imprifonment to me, in refpect of poverty; but how I fhould be your Patient to follow your prescriptions, the wife may make fome dram of a fcruple, or, indeed, a fcruple itself. Ch. Just. I fent for you, when there were matters against you for your life, to come speak with me. Fal. As I was then advis'd by my Counfel learned in the laws of this land-fervice, I did not come. Ch. Just. Well, the truth is, Sir John, you live in great infamy. Fal. He that buckles him in my belt, cannot live in lefs. Ch. Juft. Your means are very flender, and your wafte is great. Fal. I would it were otherwife; I would, my means were greater, and my wafte flenderer. Ch. Juft. You have mif-led the youthful Prince. Fal. The young Prince hath mif-led me. I am the fellow with the great belly, and he my dog". Ch. Juft. Well, I'm loth to gall a new-heal'd wound; your day's fervice at Shrewsbury hath a little gilded over your night's exploit on Gads-bill. You may thank the unquiet time, for your quiet o'er-pofting that action. of Henry IV, concerning the Tradition of Falftaff's Character having been first called Oldcastle. This almost amounts to a self-evident Proof, of the Thing being fo: and that the Play being printed from the State-Manufcript, Old caffle had been all along altered into Falftaff, except in this fingle Flace by an Overfight: of which the Printers, not being aware, continued thefe initial Traces of the Original Name. THEOBALD. 6 I do not understand this joke. Dogs lead the blind, but why does a dog lead the fat? Fal. |