a fmall needle, and then I fell a-vomiting, which gave me great relief. Yet I was fo weak, and bruifed in the fides with the fqueezes given me by this odious animal, that I was forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The King, Queen, and all the court, fent every day to enquire after my health, and her Majefty made me feveral vifits during my fick nefs. The monkey was killed, and an order made that no fuch animal fhould be kept about the palace.

When I attended the King after my recovery, to return him thanks for his favours, he was pleafed to rally me a good deal upon this adventure. He asked me, what my thoughts and fpeculations were while I lay in the monkey's paw; how I liked the victuals he gave me; his manner of feeding; and whether the fresh air on the roof had fharpened my ftomach. He defired to know, what I would have done upon fuch an occafion in my own country. I told his Majesty, that in Europe we had no monkies, except fuch as were brought for curiofities from other places, and fo fmall, that I could deal with a dozen of them together, if they prefumed to attack me. And as for that monftrous animal with whom I was fo lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant) if my fears had not fuffered me to think fo far as to make ufe of my hanger (looking fiercely, and clapping my hand upon the hilt, as I fpoke) when he poked his paw into my chamber, perhaps I should have given him fuch a wound, as would have made him glad to withdraw it with

more

more hafte than he put it in. This I delivered in a firm tone, like a perfon who was jealous left his courage fhould be called in queftion. However my fpeech produced nothing elfe befides a loud laughter, which all the respect due to his Majesty from those about him could not make them contain. This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavour to do himself honour among thofe, who are out of all degree of equality or comparison with him. And yet I have feen the moral of my own behaviour very frequent in England fince my return, where a little contemptible varlet, without the leaft title to birth, perfon, wit, or common fenfe, fhall prefume to look with importance, and put himself upon a foot with the greatest perfons of the kingdom.

I was every day furnishing the court with fome ridiculous story; and Glumdalclitch, although fhe loved me to excefs, yet was arch enough to inform the Queen, whenever I committed any folly that the thought would be diverting to her Majefty. The girl, who had been out of order, was carried by her governess to take the air about an hour's distance, or thirty miles from town. They alighted out of the coach near a small footpath in a field, and Glumdalclitch fetting down my travelling-box, I went out of it to walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I must needs try my activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but unfortunately jumped fhort, and found myself juft in the middle up to

my

my knees. I waded through with fome difficulty, and one of the footmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief; for I was filthily bemired, and my nurfe confined me to my box, till we returned home; where the Queen was foon informed of what had paffed, and the footmen spread it about the court; fo that all the mirth for fome days was at my expence.

Several contrivances of the author to please the King and Queen. He fhews his skill in mufic. The King enquires into the fate of England, which the author relates to him. The King's obfervations thereon.

I

Used to attend the King's levee once or twice a-week, and had often seen him under the barber's hand, which indeed was at first very ter

rible

* In this chapter the author gives an account of the political ftate of Europe. His obfervations are delivered with his ufual fpirit of humour and severity. He appears most particularly affected with the proceedings of the courts of judicature, and complains of being almost ruined by a chancery-fuit, which was determined in his favour with cofts. It must be confeffed, that inftances of this kind are too frequent in our courts of justice; and they leave us no room to boast of the execution of our prefent laws, however excellent the laws, in their own original foundation, may have been. Judgment, when turned into wormwood, is bitter; but delays, as Lord Bacon obferves, turn it into

rible to behold; for the razor was almost twice as long as an ordinary fcythe. His Majefty, according to the custom of the country, was only fhaved twice a-week. I once prevailed on the barber to give me fome of the fuds or lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty of the strongest stumps of hair. I then took a piece of fine wood, and cut it like the back of a comb, making several holes in it at equal distance with as small a needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the stumps fo artificially, fcraping and floping them with my knife towards the points, that I made a very tolerable comb; which was a seasonable supply, my own being fo much broken in the teeth, that it was almost useless: Neither did I know any artist in that country fo nice and exact, as would undertake to make me another.

And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I spent many of my leifure hours. I defired the Queen's woman to fave for me the combings of her Majesty's hair, whereof in time I got a good quantity; and confulting with my VOL. V. friend

P

vinegar. It becomes sharp and corroding: And certainly it is more eligible to die immediately by the wound of an enemy, than to decay lingering by poison, administered from a feeming friend. Orrery.

The noble commentator is mistaken as to his firft obfervation; for Gulliver has here given a political account of no country but England. It is however a mistake to which any commentator would have been liable, who had read little more than the titles or contents of the chapters, into which this work is divided; for the word Europe has in fome English, and all the Irish editions, been printed in the title of this chapter, instead of England. Hawkef.

friend the cabinet-maker, who had received general orders to do little jobs for me, I directed him to make two chair-frames, no larger than thofe I had in my box, and then to bore little holes with a fine awl round thofe parts where I defigned the backs and feats; through these holes I wove the strongest hairs I could pick out, just after the manner of cane-chairs in England. When they were finished, I made a prefent of them to her Majefty, who kept them in her cabinet, and used to fhew them for curiofities, as indeed they were the wonder of every one that beheld them. The Queen would have had me fit upon one of thefe chairs; but I abfolutely refused to obey her, protefting I would rather die a thousand deaths than place a dishonourable part of my body on thofe precious hairs, that once adorned her Majefty's head. Of thefe hairs (as I had always a mechanical genius) I likewife made a neat little purse about five feet long, with her Majesty's name deciphered in gold letters, which I gave to Glumdalclitch by the Queen's confent. To fay the truth, it was more for fhew than ufe, being not of ftrength to bear the weight of the larger coins, and therefore the kept nothing in it but fome little toys that girls are fond of.

The King, who delighted in mufic, had frequent concerts at court, to which I was fometimes carried, and fet in my box on a table to hear them: But the noise was fo great, that I could hardly distinguish the tunes. I am confi

dent,