therefore confident, that inftead of reafon, we were only poffeffed of fome quality fitted to encrease our natural vices; as the reflection from a troubled stream returns the image of an illfhapen body, not only larger, but more diftorted.

He added, that he had heard too much upon the fubject of war, both in this, and fome former difcourfes. There was another point, which a little perplexed him at prefent. I had informed him, that fome of our crew left their country on account of being ruined by law; that I had already explained the meaning of the word: But he was at a lofs how it fhould come to pafs, that the law, which was intended for every man's prefervation, fhould be any man's ruin. Therefore he defired to be farther fatiffied what I meant by law, and the dispensers thereof, according to the prefent practice in my own country: Because he thought nature and reafon were fufficient guides for a reasonable animal, as we pretended to be, in fhewing us what we ought to do, and what to avoid.

I affured his Honour, that law was a fcience in which I had not much converfed, further than by employing advocates in vain upon fome injuftices that had been done me; however I would give him all the fatisfaction I was able.

I faid, there was a fociety of men among us, bred up from their youth in the art of proving, by words multiplied for the purpofe, that white is black, and black is white, according as they are

paid *. To this fociety all the rest of the people are flaves. For example, if my neighbour hath a mind to my cow, he hires a lawyer to prove that he ought to have my cow from me. I muft then hire another to defend my right, it being against all rules of law, that any man fhould be allowed to speak for himself. Now, in this cafe, I, who am the right owner, lie under two great difadvantages; firft, my lawyer, being practifed almoft from his cradle in defending falfhood, is quite out of his element when he would be an advocate for juftice, which is an unnatural office, he always attempts with great aukwardnefs, if not with ill will. The fecond difadvantage is, that my lawyer must proceed with great caution, or else he will be reprimanded by the judges, and abhorred by his brethren as one that would leffen the practice of the law. And therefore I have but two methods to preferve my cow. The firft is, to gain over my adverfary's lawyer with a double fee; who will then betray his client, by infinuating, that he hath justice on his fide. The fecond way is, for my lawyer to make my caufe appear as unjust as he can, by allowing the cow to belong to my adversary; and this, if it be fkilfully done, will certainly bespeak the favour of the bench. Now, your Honour is to know, that thefe judges are perfons appointed to decide all controverfies of property, as well as for the trial

Hb 3

As in every cause Counsel are fee'd' on both fides, it cannot be pretended that this account is much exaggerated; Hawkef

trial of criminals, and picked out from the most dextrous lawyers who are grown old or lazy; and having been biaffed all their lives against truth and equity, lie under fuch a fatal neceffity of favouring fraud, perjury, and oppreffion, that I have known fome of them refuse a large bribe from the fide where justice lay, rather than injure the faculty by doing any thing unbecoming their nature or their office.

It is a maxim among these lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, may legally be done again: And therefore, they take fpecial care to record all the decifions formerly made against common justice, and the general reason of mankind. Thefe, under the name of precedents, they produce as authorities to justify the most iniquitous opinions, and the judges never fail of directing accordingly.

In pleading, they studioufly avoid entering into the merits of the caufe; but are loud, violent, and tedious, in dwelling upon all circumftances which are not to the purpose. For instance, in the cafe already mentioned: They never defire to know what claim or title my adversary hath to my cow; but whether the faid cow were red or black; her horns long or fhort; whether the freld I graze her in be round or fquare; whether fle was milked at home or abroad; what difeafes fhe is fubject to, and the like; after which they confult precedents, adjourn the cause from time to time, and in ten, twenty, or thirty years, come to an iffue.

It is likewife to be obferved, that this fociety hath a peculiar cant and jargon of their own, that no other mortal can underftand, and wherein all their laws are written, which they take fpecial care to multiply; whereby they have wholly confounded the very effence of truth and falfhood, of right and wrong; fo that it will take thirty years to decide, whether the field left me by my ancestors for fix generations, belongs. to me, or to a stranger three hundred miles off.

In the trial of perfons accused for crimes against the state, the method is much more short and commendable: The judge first fends to found the difpofition of thofe in power, after which he can easily hang or fave a criminal, ftrictly preferving all due forms of law.

Here my mafter interpofing, faid it was a pity that creatures endued with fuch prodigious abi lities of mind, as thefe lawyers by the defcription I gave of them muft certainly be, were not rather encouraged to be inftructors of others in wifdom. and knowledgei. In anfwer to which I affured his Honour, that in all points out of their own trade, they were ufually the most ignorant and stupid generation among us, the most despicable in common converfation, avowed enemies to all knowledge and learning, and equally difpofed to pervert the general reason of mankind in every other fubject of difcourfe, as in that of their own profeffion.

CHAP.

CH A P. VỊ.

A continuation of the fate of England under Queen Anne. The character of a first minister of fate in European courts.

M

Y mafter was yet wholly at a lofs to underftand what motives could incite this race of lawyers, to perplex, difquiet, and weary themselves, and engage in a confederacy of injustice, merely for the fake of injuring their fellow-animals; neither could he comprehend what I meant in saying, they did it for hire. Whereupon I was at much pains to describe to him the ufe of money, the materials it was made of, and the value of the metals; that when a Yahoo had got a great store of this precious fubftance, he was able to purchase whatever he had a mind to, the finest cloathing, the nobleft houses, great tracts of land, the moft coftly meats and drinks, and have his choice of the most beautiful females. Therefore, fince money alone was able to perform all these feats, our Yahoos thought they could never have enough of it to fpend, or to fave, as they found themselves inclined from their natural bent either to profufion or avarice: That the rich man enjoyed the fruit of the poor man's labour, and the latter were a thousand to one in proportion to the former: That the bulk of our

people