Prince. So, two more already.

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Falstaff. Their points being broken, began to give me ground but I followed me close, came in, foot and hand; [takes one step forward, and makes seven quick passes] and with a thought, seven of the eleven I paid. Prince. O monstrous ! eleven buckram men grown out 110 of two!

Falstaff. But, as the devil would have it, three misbegotten knaves, in Kendal-green, came at my back, and let drive at me; for it was so dark, Hal, that thou couldst not see thy hand.

Prince. These lies are like the father that begets them,-gross as a mountain, open, palpable. Why, thou clay-brained guts, thou greasy tallow-keech,

Falstaff. What, art thou mad? art thou mad? is not

the truth the truth?

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120

Prince. Why, how couldst thou know these men in Kendal-green, when it was so dark thou couldst not see thy hand? come, tell us your reason: what sayest thou to this ? [Falstaff hesitates for a moment. Poins [jeering]. Come, your reason, Jack, your reason. 125 Falstaff. What, upon compulsion? No; were I at the strappado, or all the racks in the world, I would not tell you on compulsion. Give you a reason on compulsion! if reasons were as plenty as blackberries, I would give no man a reason upon compulsion, I.

Prince. I'll be no longer guilty of this sin; this sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horse-back-breaker, this huge hill of flesh,

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Falstaff. Away, you starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's tongue, you stock-fish! Oh, for breath to utter 135 what is like thee! you tailor's yard, you sheath, you bow-case,[Gasps and wipes his face. Prince. Well, breathe awhile, and then to it again and when thou hast tired thyself in base comparisons, hear me speak but this.

Poins. Mark, Jack.

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Prince. We two saw you four set on four; you bound them, and were masters of their wealth! [Falstaff starts.] Mark now, how a plain tale shall put you down. Then did we two set on you four; and, with a word, outfaced 145 you from your prize, and have it; yea, and can show it you here in the house: and, Falstaff, you carried your

guts away as nimbly, with as quick dexterity, and roared for mercy, and still ran and roared, as ever I heard bullcalf. What a slave art thou, to hack thy sword as thou 150 hast done, and then say it was in fight! [A pause. Falstaff looks ashamed.] What trick, what device, what starting-hole, canst thou now find out, to hide thee from this open and apparent shame ?

[Falstaff hides his face behind his shield. Poins. Come, let 's hear, Jack; what trick hast thou 155 now?

Falstaff [recovering himself and throwing down his shield]. By the Lord, I knew ye as well as he that made ye. Why, hear ye, my masters: was it for me to kill the heir-apparent? Should I turn upon the true prince ? [He 160 sheathes his sword.] Why, thou knowest I am as valiant as Hercules: but beware instinct; the lion will not touch the true prince. [He speaks very solemnly.] Instinct

is great matter; I was a coward on instinct. I shall think the better of myself and thee during my life; I for 165 a valiant lion, and thou for a true prince. [Brightening up.] But, by the Lord, lads, I am glad you have the money.— [To the Hostess within.] Hostess, clap to the doors. Gallants, lads, boys, hearts of gold, all the titles of good fellowship come to you! What, shall we be merry? 170 shall we have a play extempore ?

Prince. Content; and the argument shall be, thy running away.

Falstaff. Ah, no more of that, Hal, an thou lovest me!

XX. AN ELIZABETHAN
GRAMMAR SCHOOL

BY JOHN MARSTON

This scene gives a very lifelike picture of an English schoolroom in Shakespeare's day. The grammar learnt is Latin grammar only, from John Lilly's famous schoolbook. If you had not known your verbs (and you may be quite sure that you would not have known them), you will see what would have happened to you.

A Schoolroom; Battus, Nous, Slip, Nathaniel, and Holofernes Pippo are discovered sitting with books in their hands. Enter the Pedant, or Schoolmaster.

All. Salve, magister.

Pedant. Salvete, pueri, estote salvi, vos salvere exopto, exopto vobis salutem. Batte, mi fili, fili, mi Batte. Battus. Quid vis?

Pedant. Stand forth, repeat your lesson without book. 5 [Battus gets up, and begins in a sing-song. Battus. A noun is the name of a thing that may be seen, felt, heard, or understood.

Pedant. Good boy; on, on!

Battus. Of nouns some be substantives and some be substantives.

Pedant [correcting him]. Adjectives.

Battus. Adjectives; a noun substantive either is proper to the thing that it betokeneth

Pedant [stopping him]. Well, to numbers.

ΙΟ

Battus. In nouns be two numbers, the singular and 15 the plural: the singular number speaketh of one, as lapis, a stone'; the plural speaketh of more than one as lapides, stones'.

Pedant. Good child, now thou art past lapides, ' stones', proceed to the cases. [Battus goes back to his place.] Nous, 20 say you next, Nous; where's your lesson, Nous ? Nous. I am in a verb forsooth.

Pedant. Say on forsooth, say, say.

Nous. A verb is a part of speech declined with mood and tense, and betokeneth doing, as amo, ' I love'. Pedant. How many kinds of verbs are there ? Nous. Two: personal and impersonal.

Pedant. Of verbs personal, how many kinds?

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Nous. Five: active, passive, neuter, deponent, and common. A verb active endeth in -o and betokeneth 30 to do', as amo, 'I love'; and by putting to -r, it may be a passive, as amor, 'I am loved'.

Pedant. Very good, child; now learn to know the deponent and common. [Nous goes back to his place.] Say you, Slip. [Slip comes forward. 35 Slip. Cedant arma togae, concedat laurea linguae. Pedant. What part of speech is lingua? inflecte, inflecte.

Slip. Singulariter, nominativo haec lingua.

Pedant. Why is lingua the feminine gender? Slip [puzzled]. Forsooth, because it is the feminine gender.

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Pedant. Ha, thou ass, thou dolt! idem per idem, mark it lingua is declined with haec the feminine, because it is a household stuff particularly belonging and 45 most commonly resident under the roof of women's mouths. [He waves to Slip to sit down.] Come on you, Nathaniel, say you, say you next, not too fast, say tretably, say. [Nathaniel comes forward. Mascula dicuntur monosyllaba 50

Nathaniel [very slowly]. nomina quaedam.

Pedant. Faster, faster.

Nathaniel. Ut sal, sol; ren et splen; Car, Ser, vir; vas vadis, as, mas; bes, Cres, praes et pes; glis gliris habens genetivo; mos, flos, ros et Tros; mus, dens, mons, pons— 55 Pedant. Rup, tup, snup, slup, bor, hor, cor, mor! Holla, holla, holla. You, Holofernes Pippo, put him down -wipe your nose; fie, on your sleeve! Where's your muckinder your grandmother gave you ?-Well, say on, say on.

Holofernes [bringing up his book, in order to look at the work as long as possible]. Pree, master, what word's this? Pedant. Ass, ass! [Holofernes shuts his book. Holofernes. As in praesenti perfectum format in-in[He stops short.

in

Pedant [sharply]. In what, sir ?

Holofernes [repeating without thinking]. Perfectum

format in what, sir.

Pedant [angrily]. In what, sir! in -avi.

бо

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Holofernes [catching at it]. In what, sir, in -avi, ut no, nas, navi; vocito, vocitas,-[forgetting by this time what 70 he said at the beginning] voci-voci-voci

Pedant. Voci-what's next?

Holofernes [blandly]. Voci what's next?

Pedant [getting out the birch]. Why, thou ungracious child, thou simple animal, thou barnacle! Nous, snare 75 him, take him up; an you were my father, you should up. Holofernes [struggling with Nous, who is trying to get hold of him]. Hark you, master, my grandmother entreats you to come to dinner to-morrow morning.

Pedant. I say, untruss, take him up, Nous, dispatch ! What, not perfect in -as in praesenti !

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Holofernes. In truth I'll be as perfect an ass in presenty as any of this company-[Nous gets the better of him] law, this once, this once !-an I do so any more! Pedant. I say, hold him up.

Holofernes. Ha, let me say my prayers first! ha sweet, 85 ha sweet, honey, barbary-sugar, sweet master !

Pedant. Sans tricks, trifles, delays, demurrers, procrastinations, or retardations mount him, mount him. [A violent struggle, after which Pippo is hoisted on the back of Nous, Battus untrusses him, and Slip and Nathaniel hang on his legs as he kicks.

Enter Quadratus, Laverdure, and Simplicius, three fashion-
able gentlemen. Laverdure is very richly dressed.
Quadratus. Be merciful, my gentle signior.
Laverdure. We'll sue his pardon out.

Pedant. He is reprieved [the boys let Holofernes go], and now Apollo bless your brains. [To Laverdure.] Facundious and elaborate elegance make your presence gracious in the eyes of your mistress.

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Laverdure [to the Pedant]. You must along with us, 95 lend private ear. [They walk aside. Simplicius [to Pippo]. What is your name? Holofernes. Holofernes Pippo.

Simplicius. Truly, gallants, I am enamoured on the boy. [To Pippo.] Wilt thou serve me?

Holofernes. Yes, an't please my grandmother, when I come to years of discretion.

Pedant. An you have a propensitude to him, he shall be for you. I was solicited to grant him leave to play the lady in comedies presented by children, but I knew 105 his voice was too small and his stature too low; sing, sing a treble, Holofernes, sing. [Pippo sings.] A very small sweet voice, I'll assure you.

Quadratus. 'Tis smally sweet indeed.

Šimplicius. A very pretty child! hold up thy head, 110 there, buy thee some plums. [He gives Pippo money.

Quadratus [to the Pedant]. Nay, they must play, you

go along with us.

Pedant. Ludendi venia est petita et concessa.

All. Gratias.

[School ends, with much cheering. 115