Sir And. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him. Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can scarce hold him yonder. Sir And. Plague on't! an I thought he had been valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damned ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet. Sir To. I'll make the motion: stand herc, make a good show on't this shall end without the perdition of souls.-[Aside.] Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you. Re-enter Fabian and Viola. [To Fab.] I have his horse to take up the quarrel; I have persuaded him the youth's a devil. Fab. He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants, and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels. Sir To. There's no remedy, sir; he will fight with you for his oath's sake: marry, he hath better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow; he protests he will not hurt you. A Vio. [Aside. Pray God defend me! little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man. Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious. Sir To. Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you; he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has promised me. as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to't. Sir And. Pray God, he keep his oath ! Have done offence, I take the fault on me : [Drawing. Sir To. You, sir! why, what are you? Ant. One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more Than you have heard him brag to you he will. Sir To. Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you. Draws. Fab. O, good Sir Toby, hold! here come the officers. Enter Officers. Sir To. [To Ant.] I'll be with you anon. Vio. [To Sir And.] Pray, sir, put your sword up, if you please. Sir And. Marry, will I, sir; - and, for that I promised you, I'll be as good as my word: he will bear you easily, and reins well. 1 Off. This is the man; do thy office. 2 Off. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit Of Count Orsino. Ant. You do mistake me, sir. 1 Off. No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well, Though now you have no sea-cap on your head. But there's no remedy; I shall answer it. 2 Off. Ant. I must entreat of you some of that I'll make division of my present with you : Ant. Will you deny me now? Is't possible that my deserts to you Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, Lest that it make me so unsound a man, As to upbraid you with those kindnesses That I have done for you. Vio. I know of none; Nor know I you by voice, or any feature : I hate ingratitude more in a man Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption Inhabits our frail blood. Ant. O heavens themselves ! 2 Off. Come, sir, I pray you, go. Ant. Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here I snatch'd one-half out of the jaws of death; away! god! Ant. But O how vile an idol proves this Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame. In nature there's no blemish but the mind; None can be call'd deform'd but the unkind : Virtue is beauty; but the beauteous evil Are empty trunks, o'erflourish'd by the devil. 1 Off. The man grows mad: away with Come, come, sir. [him! Ant. Lead me on. [Exeunt Officers with Antonio. Vio. Methinks his words do from such passion fly, That he believes himself: so do not I. Sir To. Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian: we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws. Vio. He nam'd Sebastian: I my brother would not be in some of your coats for two- Yet living in my glass; even such, and so, Fab. Come, let's see the event. ACT IV. [Exeunt. SCENE I.-The Street adjoining Olivia's Enter Sebastian and Clown. Clo. Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you? Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow: Let me be clear of thee. Clo. Well held out, i' faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither.-Nothing that is so, is so. Seb. I pr'ythee, vent thy folly somewhere else: Thou know'st not me. Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney. -I prythee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady: shall I vent to her that thou art coming? Seb. I pr'ythee, foolish Greek, depart from me: Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand. -These wise men, that give fools money, get themselves a good report after fourteen years' purchase. Enter Sir Andrew Aguecheek, Sir Toby Belch, and Fabian. Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for you. [Striking Sebastian. Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there. Beating Sir Andrew.] Are all the people mad? Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house. Clo. This will I tell my lady straight: [Exit. Sir To. [Holding Sebastian.] Come on, sir; hold! Sir And. Nay, let him alone: I'll go another way to work with him: I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that. Seb. Let go thy hand. Sir To. Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on. Seb. I will be free from thee. [Disengaging Oli. Hold, Toby! on thy life, I charge thee, Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves, Be not offended, dear Cesario.— but go: Do not deny. Beshrew his soul for me, Seb. What relish is in this? how runs the SCENE II.-A Room in Olivia's House. Enter Maria and Clown ; Malvolio in a dark chamber adjoining. Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and this beard; make him believe thou art Sir Topas, the curate: do it quickly; I'll call Sir Toby the whilst. [Exit. Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not tall enough to become the function well; nor lean enough to be thought a good student: but to be said an honest man and a good Ilhousekeeper, goes as fairly as to say a careful Sir To. To him, Sir Topas. Clo. [At the door of Malvolio's room.] What ho! I say,-peace in this prison ! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave. Mal. [Within.] Who calls there? Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic. Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady. Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man! Talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson. Mal. [Within.] Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad: they have laid me here in hideous darkness. Clo. Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: say'st thou that house is dark? Mal. As hell, Sir Topas. Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stories toward the | south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction? Mal. I am not mad, Sir Topas: I say to you, this house is dark. Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog. Mal. say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused. I am no more mad than you are: make the trial of it in any constant question. Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild-fowl? Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Clo. Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mal. Sir Topas ! Sir Topas !Sir To. My most exquisite Sir Topas ! Clo. Nay, I am for all waters. Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy beard and gown: he sees thee not. Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were ; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. [Exeunt Sir Toby and Maria. Clo. [Singing.] "Hey Robin, jolly Robin, Tell me how thy lady does." Mal. Fool, Clo. [Singing.] "My lady is unkind, Clo. [Singing.] "She loves another"--Who calls, ha? Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper: as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't. Clo. Master Malvolio? Mal. Ay, good fool. [wits? Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you beside your five Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. Clo. But as well? then you are mad indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool. Mal. They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me,-asses! -and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Clo. Advise you what you say; the minister is here.-Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble. Mal. Sir Topas, Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow.-Who, I, sir? not I, sir. God b' wi you, good Sir Topas.-Marry, amen.—I will, sir, I will. Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say, Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I am shent for speaking to you. Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper: I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria. Clo. Well-a-day, that you were, sir! Mal. By this hand, I am. Good fool, some ink, paper, and light; and convey what I will set down to my lady: it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did. Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit ? Mal. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true. Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman tiil I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink. Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: I pr'ythee, be gone. SCENE III.-Olivia's Garden. Enter Sebastian. [Exit. Seb. This is the air; that is the glorious sun; ACT V. SCENE I.-The Street before Olivia's House. Fab. Now, as thou lovest me, let me see his letter. Clo. Good Master Fabian, grant me an- Clo. Do not desire to see this letter. Enter Duke, Viola, and Attendants. Duke. Belong you to the Lady Olivia, friends? Clo. Ay, sir; we are some of her trappings. Duke. I know thee well: how dost thou, my good fellow? Clo. Truly, sir, the better for my foes, and the worse for my friends. Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy Clo. Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass of me; now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass; so that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends I am abused: so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why then, the worse for my friends, and the better for my foes. Duke. Why, this is excellent. Clo. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be one of my friends. Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me: there's gold. Take and give back affairs, and their despatch, Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, ing, As I perceive she does: there's something in't If you Oli. Blame not this haste of mine. And, having sworn truth, ever will be true. That they may fairly note this act of mine! Duke. O, you give me ill counsel. Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it, Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double-dealer: there's another. Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old saying is, The third pays for all : the triplex, sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of St Bennet, sir, may put you in mind, -One, two, three. Duke. You can fool no more money out of me at this throw: if you will let your lady know I am here to speak with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty further. Clo. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty, till I come again. I go, sir; but I would not have you to think that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness: but, as you say, sir, let your bounty take a nap, I will awake it anon. [Exit. Vio. Here comes the man, sir, that did rescue me. Enter Antonio and Officers. As black as Vulcan in the smoke of war: 1 Off. Orsino, this is that Antonio That took the Phoenix and her fraught from Candy; And this is he that did the Tiger board, In private brabble did we apprehend him. Vio. He did me kindness, sir; drew on my But, in conclusion, put strange speech upon me, Duke. Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief! What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies, Whom thou, in terms so bloody and so dear, Ant. mischief: I'll sacrifice the lamb that I do love, Live you, the marble-breasted tyrant, still; But this your minion, whom I know you love, Antonio never yet was thief or pirate, And whom, by heaven I swear, I tender dearly, Though, I confess, on base and ground enough, Him will I tear out of that cruel eye, Orsino's enemy. A witchcraft drew me hither; Where he sits crowned in his master's spite. That most ingrateful boy there, by your side,Come, boy, with me; my thoughts are ripe in From the rude sea's enraged and foamy mouth | Did I redeem; a wreck past hope he was; His life I gave him, and did thereto add My love, without retention or restraint, All his in dedication; for his sake Did I expose myself, pure for his love, Into the danger of this adverse town; Drew to defend him when he was beset : Where being apprehended, his false cunning (Not meaning to partake with me in danger) Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance, And grew a twenty-years-removed thing, While one would wink; denied me mine own purse, Which I had recommended to his use [Going. Vio. And I, most jocund, apt, and willingly, To do you rest, a thousand deaths would die. [Following. Oli. Where goes Cesario? Oli. Ah me, detested! how am I beguil'd! Duke. To Viola.] [Exit an Attendant. Come away. Oli. Whither, my lord ?-Cesario, husband, Oli. Ay, husband; can he that deny? Vio. [stay. No, my lord, not I. Re-enter Attendant with Priest. |