Tabern Rhymes.

From a fly sheet in a house at Mulbarton :

THE LANDLORD'S KIND CAUTION TO HIS CUSTOMERS.

Right welcome all who visit here,

I'll treat you with good wholesome cheer,
I deal in ale, as crystal clear,

In porter brown, and good strong beer.
I've rum and gin, and brandy too;
They suit myself and will please you.
My wines would make a Nabob smile,
My whiskey will your hearts beguile.
My chairs are easy, fires are bright,
So take a seat, yourselves delight.
My tobacco's rich, pipes white as snow,
Alike they're formed to soothe your woe.
I'm ever ready to attend your call,
But I've no chalk to spoil my wall,
Chalk ever does sweet peace destroy,
Stirs up foul anger, stifles joy.
My liquor's good, my dealings just,
My profits small, I cannot trust.

I'm sure these lines can cause no sorrow,

So pay to-day, I'll trust to-morrow.
If I refuse to trust a friend,

Or if I trust or money lend,

The one he takes it in disdain,
The other will my house refrain.

THE LANDLORD'S REQUEST.

Written over a fireplace in a house near Mulbarton, Norfolk.

All you that stand before the fire,

To see you sit is my desire,
That others may (as well as you)
See the fire, and feel it too.

Since man to man is so unjust,
None can tell what man to trust;
I ve trusted many to my sorrow;
Pay to day and trust to morrow.

Lines over the fireplace at the "Maypole," Hainault Forest:

Over the stable door were the following:

Whoever smokes tobacco here,

Shall forfeit sixpence to spend in beer;
Your pipes lay by when you come here,
Or fire to me may prove severe.

The following was seen in the parlour of a house at Rancton, Norfolk:

Clerk

At the "Bear Inn," in Devizes, the innkeeper's name in August, 1769, being WHATLEY, the following lines were found scratched on the wainscot of the principal room :

Whilst snarling curs attack Sir Fletcher's fame,
Baiting his double place and double fees,

Sir Fletcher standing without fear or shame,
Pockets the cash and lets them laugh that please.
Thus on a market-day stands WHATLEY'S Bear,
In spite of all the noise and hurly-burly,

Fix'd on his double Post, secure in air,

Munching his bunch of grapes, and looking surly.

Copy of a sheet of paper fastened to the window of a Publichouse, near "The Angel," Islington:

Siste Viator!

Novitas inandita.

Scientiæque potûsque combinatio!
A glass of ale
and a

Galvanic Shock
for Twopence.

Intra! Bibe! Suscipe! Solve !!!

* Begin with the bottom word of the right-hand column and read upwards, treating the other columns in a similar way.

Thomas Longfellow's face must have looked longer than usual when he saw the following lines over the mantleshelf in the coffeeroom of his Inn, the "Golden Lion," at Brecon :

Tom Longfellow's name is most justly his due :
Long his neck, long his bill, which is very long too;
Long the time ere the horse to the stable is lel,

Long before he's rubbed down, and much longer till fed;
Long indeed may you sit in a comfortless room,
Till from kitchen long dirty your dinner shall come :
Long the often told tale that your host will relate,
Long his face while complaining how long people eat;
Long may Longfellow long ere he shall see me again-
Long 'twill be ere I long for Tom Longfellow's Inn.

MORE YET.

At a tavern one night,

Messrs. Moore, Strange, and Wright
Met to drink and their good thoughts exchange.
Says More, "Of us three,

The whole will agree,

There's only one knave, and that's strange."
"Yes," says Strange, rather sore,

"I'm sure there's one More,

A most terrible knave and a bite,

Who cheated his mother,

His sister, and brother,

"Oh yes,” replied More, "that is Wright."

GLASS-WINDOW RHYMES.

ON an Alehouse window some penniless bard, lacking a better patron, inscribed the following adulatory lines :—

O Chalk to me, and to the poor, a friend,
On Thee my life and happiness depend;
On Thee with joy, with gratitude I think,
For by thy bounty, I both eat and drink.

Near Harewood-bridge, on the line of road from Leeds to Harrogate, stood recently an interesting Elizabethan roadside Inn, in 1798. On an old pane of glass, in one of its stone-mullioned windows, were inscribed the following lines :

Gaily I lived, as Ease and Nature taught,
And past my little Life without a thought;
I wonder then why Death, that tyrant grim,
Should think of me, who never thought of him.

These were followed by an admonitory quatrain,—

Ah! why forget that Death should think of thee,
If thou art Mortal, such must surely be;

Then rouse up reason, view thy hast'ning end,
And lose no time to make thy God thy Friend.

Lines written on a window pane of the Hotel des Pays-Bas, Spa, Belgium :—

1793.

I love but one, and only one,

Ah Damon, thou art he;

Love thou but one, and only one,

And let that one be me.

Lines written on a pane of glass in the "Globe" Inn, Dumfries, supposed to be by Burns :

Whate'er you seek, be't ale or beer,

Or whate'er fits your nob,

At moderate fare you'll find it here,
The best that's in the globe.

On another in the same handwriting,—

Gin a body meet a body

Coming thro' the grain,
Gin a body kiss a body,

The thing's a body's ain.

Epigram said to have been written on the window of an Inn, about the time of Her present Majesty's accession :

"The Queen's with us, the Whigs exulting say,
For when she found us in, she let us stay.
It may be so, but give me leave to doubt
How long she'll keep you when she finds you out."

Inscriptions on Houses.

OVER a house in Hexham,—

C. D. 1683. J. D.

Reason doth wonder, but Faith he tell can,
That a maid was a mother, and God was a man,
Let Reason look down, and faith see the wonder;
For Faith sees above, and Reason sees under.
Reason doth wonder what by Scripture is meant,
Which says that Christ's body is our Sacrament:

That our bread is His body, and our drink is His blood,
Which cannot by Reason be well understood;
For Faith sees above, and Reason below,

For Faith can see more than Reason doth know.
Inscription on the Town House, Wittenberg,—
If God's work, it will aye endure,

A translation.

If man's, 'tis not a moment sure.

The Athenaeum.

On the old School at Great Blencowe, Cumberland,

Ye youths rejoice at this foundation,
Being laid for your edification.

On old Buckingham House, on the front of it,

Standard Hill House, on the highest ground in the parish of Ninfield, five miles from Battle, is so called from the tradition that William the Conqueror set up his standard on this spot, after the ever-memorable battle of Hastings. The following inscription appears in raised letters on the front of the building :

God's providence is my inheritance.

Except the Lord build the house they labour in vain that build it. Here we have (1659) no abidince.

The story connected with this place is, that a former proprietor of the estate having taken offence at the conduct of his heir, determined to disinherit him. The son afterwards by a singular turn of fortune gaining possession, rebuilt the edifice, and put up the inscriptions above cited.

Upon a house in Lawrencekirk, Kincardineshire, are these brief mementoes of sublunary hope and disappointment :

1814. I thought on better times,

1816. But worse came.

Hornsea Church stands on an eminence at the eastern end, between the mere and the village. Its low square tower once bore a tall spire, on which it is said the builder had cut this inscription :

Hornsea steeple, when I built thee,
Thou wast ten miles off Burlington,

+

Ten miles off Beverley, and ten miles off the sea.

A Month in Yorkshire, by Walter White.