WIT AND SENTIMENT.

A correspondent has sent us, says the editor of Frazer's Magazine, the following lackadaisical lines, which we print for his own comfort and the edification of our readers:

Where's the maiden that can vie a
Single moment with Sophia?
She has left me, and I'll sigh a
Mighty deal for kind Sophia.
Knew I where she was, I'd fly a
Million miles to find Sophia.
Where's the man that would deny a
Flood of tears for lost Sophia?
1. in fact, could weep and cry a
Whole long year for young Sophia.
All the earth could not supply a
Husband worthy of Sophia.
I wonder much if in the sky a
-N angel lives to match Sophia.
There's not I'm sure, in low or high, a
Girl so sweet as dear Sophia.

"THE KIVERLID," OR YANKEE NEATNESS.—A Green Horn from the interior, recently went to visit a rich cousin in the city of Boston. Being introduced into the sitting room by the servant, he stopped at the door, and gazing for a moment, with astonishment, upon the rich carpet on the floor, he at last observed a narrow space next the wall of the room, which it did not cover, and with long strides, marched over it opposite the fire-place: here, being obliged to cross the carpet to reach his friends, (who began to be as much surprised as he was,) in reaching the hearth, he could not avoid stepping on it--and, turning with much apparent mortification to his cousin, he exclaimed-"There, Polly, I have trod on your kiverlid arter all," Low. Mer.

EQUIVOCAL PREMISES." It seems to me your loaves are all of the same weight." muttered a fault-finding housewife to a baker, as she poised a couple of loaves from his basket-"do you 'spose you can cheat me?" "I don't want to cheat you," replied the man of bread, not relishing such an insinuation; "I know the loaves were weighed--every soul of them and one weighs just as much as t'other, by gracious-and more too, I dare say, if the truth was known!"

PADDY VS. PIG.-The risibles of the dwellers on Central St. were the other day strongly excited by a foot race between a Paddy and a Pig. Chucky ran for his life, and Patrick run for his dinner. Twice, yea thrice did Patrick make a grasp at him, but with a grunt and a bound, the swine escaped his pursuer. "By J-s[said the Hibernian,,] the baste is like the Oregon settlement, the nearer you get to him, the further he is off-I'll catch him no more, bad luck to him!"-Lowell Com.

AN INTERESTING SHIP'S COMPANY.-The Providence Journal relates the following anecdote:-Some dozen or fourteen years ago, a brig arrived at Liverpool from Boston. The captain went to the Custom House with his papers. to enter his vessel. From these papers the Collector ascertained that her name was the Mary Scudder, that she was owned and freighted by Messrs. Horace Scudder & Co. of Boston, and consigned to Silas B. Scudder, supercargo on board-that her crew consisted of Isaiah Scudder, Master, George W. Scudder, first mate, Enoch Scudder, second mate, Zerubbabel Scudder, Jonathan Scudder Samuel Scudder, Josiah Scudder, Ezra Scudder, seamen, Hannibal Scudder, cook, Cato Scudder, steward, Isaiah Scudder, Jr. boy, Mrs. Elizabeth Scudder, and two little infant Scudders, passengers. "For mercy's sake." exclaimed the astonished collector, throwing down his pen, "are there any more Scudders left in-New England, or have you brought them all with you?"

It is a current story, that a doctor, having purchased his diploma, in the course of riding through Aberdeen, desired his man John, when waiting at dinner, not to forget his new dignity, whenever he addressed him. "Noa maister," showing him at the same time his doctor's degree, which replied John, "if so be as how you don't forget mine;" he had purchased in imitation of his master.

SYMPTOMS.-I'll bet a sheep," said an old Meredith to his other half, "that our boy Otho is going crazy. For he is grinning at the plough, and he is grinning at the barn, and he is grinning at the table, and he is grinning to himself wherever he goes." "Poh," replied the old woman, "don't you know he got a love letter this morning."

REPLY COURTINGLY -Mr. H-, of the town of—, in his young days attended school with two young ladies, by the name of Mary Ann and Patience. One day H. was MARCH OF INTELLECT.-What was the subject of Mr. A's. much puzzled in performing his sums. He went frequentlast lecture, said a young man to a gentleman who profes-ly to the master for assistance, until the master, disliking sed to be much attached to lectures, and had generally atthe frequent interruptions, said to him sternly, "You must tended all the lectures on Natural Philosophy for a number have patience." "Why not Mary Ann?" was the instant of winters. It was "specific gravity," and a very interest-reply of H. He took Mary Ann, but has since taken unto ing lecture it was too. Specific gravity-I do not exactly himself Patience also, whether in conformity with the or understand what that is, said the inquirer; what is it?der of the schoolmaster, we pretend not to say. Why it is difficult to describe; but it is a round piece of silver or tin, a little larger than a dollar, and having a hole through it. Mr. A. had one in his hand, and described it very accurately. It is a very ingenious invention and every mechanic ought to understand how to use it.

AN EWASIVE ANSWER.--" Well, Mr. M.," asked an acquaintance of a celebrated horse-dealer, who was leaving Long Pole Wellesley the other day," have you been paid your bill?" "No," replied the hero of the manger, "I always gets an ewasive answer, when I axes for it." What was his excuse to-day?" asked the inquirer. "Vy, he said he'd see me hung first," replied M.-Lon. paper.

NINE POINTS IN THE LAW-To him that goes to law, nine things are requisite:-In the first place, a good deal of money-secondly, a good deal of patience-thirdly, a good cause-fourthly, a good Attorney-fifthly, a good Council-sixthly, good evidence-seventhly, a good Jury ---eighthly, a good Judge---and ninthly, good luck."

This world is becoming so refined and polished, that one one can scarce stay in it, without slipping. We overheard a gentleman of colour a few days ago, inform another sable exquisite, that he had unfortunately ruptured his 'expressibles, but that fortin smiling, they would be mended straight off."--Mer. Adv.

A certain eminent leading counsel is celebrated at the bar for the following mode of examining a witness: "Now pray listen to the question I am going to ask you. Be attentive, remember, you will answer as you please, and remember, I don't care a rush what you answer," &c. &c. The learned lord now on the woolsack, somewhat weary of the monotony of his perorations, one day accosted him in the street:-"Ha! is it you, C Now pray listen to the question I am going to ask you. Be attentive. Remember you will answer as you please, and remember I don't care a rush what you answer. How are you?"

ACKNOWLEDGMENT.-A miller of Ahad his neighbor arrested, under the charge of stealing wheat from his mill. But being unable to substantiate the charge by proof, the court adjudged that the miller should make acknowledg ment to the accused. "Well," says he "I have had you arrested for stealing my wheat-I can't prove it and am

sorry for it!"

The following letter from an Irish soldier on duty at the Tower, London, was written to the warden: My wife is very ill, prays your honor's worship to let me sleep out at night, promising most faithfully never to go out till after the gates are locked up at night, and always to come in before they are open in the morning; for which your petitioner shall ever pray."

WIT AND SENTIMENT.

The following anecdote is related in the London New Monthly Magazine for last month:

"In that inglorious attack on Buenos Ayres where our brave soldiers were disgraced by a recreant general, the negroes, slaves as they were, joined the inhabitants to expel their invaders. On this signal occasion, the city decreed a public expression of their gratitude to the negroes, in a sort of triumph, and at the same time awarded the freedom of eighty of their leaders. One of them having shown his claims to the boon, declaring that to obtain his freedom had all his days formed the proud object of his wishes, his claim was indisputable; yet, now, however, to the amazement of the judges, he refused his proffered freedom! The reason he alleged was a singular refinement of heartfelt sensibility:-'My kind mistress,' said the negro, once wealthy, has fallen into misfortunes in her infirm old age. I work to maintain her, and at inter. vals of leisure she leans on my arm to take the evening air. I will not be tempted to abandon her, and 1 renounce the hope of freedom that she may know she possesses a slave who will never quit her side.'"

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ANECDOTE OF BLACKBEARD.-About a century ago, this dauntless pirate reigned master of the whole coast of North-America. All the rivers, from Georgia to New-Hampshire, were his own. He amassed great treasures, and buried them for safety under ground, as some of the people say: and many nocturnal spectators sweat themselves in quest of them to this day, though to little purpose. Poor Blackbeard, imagining himself in perfect safety, ventured once to send most of his crew ashore, to gather provisions on the banks of Potomac river. Unluckily for him, his evil star presided at that moment.-A British ship of war arrived. The Commander, informed of matters, sends his lieutenant up the river after him, in a well manned barge. They approach warily; with the hope of surprising him. Their hopes succeed-They board him sword and pistol in hand-find but few on the deck-all their own. But the lieutenant, a brave Scotsman, well acquainted with his Andra Ferrara, wished to give Blackbeard a chance for his life, and generously challenged him out to a single combat. The old man stood ready on the quarter deck. They engaged, and for some time the contest was doubtful; but at length the good genius and better address of the lieutenant prevailing, poor Blackbeard received a severe stroke on the shoulder

"Weell, cried the lieutenant, gin ye like it, ye sal ha more on't," and the very next stroke severed his black head from his shoulders, and instantly putting it into a boiling pot of water, ordered his men to clean it perfectly; and when done, had it tipt with silver, and presented to a friend, the keeper of a public house, as a cup to drink punch out of.

A POPULAR PREACHER.-A short time ago one of the self-elected class of Divines, who are not in com--hah, cried he, that's well struck, brother soldier!— mon excessively College-bred, was holding forth to his congregation upon a subject well calculated to arouse the attention of incorrigible hearts. After blazing away with his subject, until he had rendered Pandemonium as hot as Vesuvius, and as black as Milton's Satan, he rounded a sublime peroration with the following sentencs-"Now hearken ye sinners! I tell ye that ye'll all go to h--l, as sure as I'll catch that fly on the Bible;" at the same time making a determined swoop with his palm across the sacred page, to capture the talismanic insect. He then proceeded to open his clenched fist, finger by finger, untill the last digit was relaxed, but behold the poor fly had eluded his grasp. Looking surprised and disappointed for a few moments, the Minister at length exclaimed, "By the hoky, I've miss'd him!-there's a chance for you yet, ye sinful raggamuffins!"

FEE-MAIL INFLUENCE.-One day a bouncing country lass stepped into a post office in a neighboring town, and inquired if there was a letter for her. The P. M. overhauled his stock and produced one bearing her name, and told her it was ten cents. Ten cents said she, why I got a good deal bigger one t'other day for four-pence; can't you take less?' 'O, no ma'am,' said the man of letters, that's Uncle Sam's price, and we cannot vary from it in the least.' 'Well, where is your uncle?' said the other, I wish you'd be good enough to call him. I don't believe but what he'd take three cents for sich a leetle mite as that are is!"-Dedham Adv.

THE LATE KING FERDINAND, of Naples, was a wit, in in his way, and said many droll things. After his last return from Sicily, when Joachim Murat had been driven out of the kingdom of Naples by the Austrians, General Nugent, the Minister of War, waited on Ferdinand one day, with some cuirasses as specimens of the armor with which the General thought of furnishing one of the regiments of the new Neapolitan army he was then organizing. The King approved of the specimens, but asked, smiling, what part of the soldier's bodies they were meant to cover. The General replied, of course the breast. "Then they are no use to my brave maccaroni eaters!" cried the King; "my soldiers are not likely to expose their fronts-no, no! General! reverse them! put them behind; put them behind!" And then he roared with laughter at his own witticism, and the notorious cowardice of his troops.

NEWSPAPERS.-I never derive more benefit, or see more pleasure for the time, says Dr. Johnson, than reading a newspaper which has lately issued from the press. I do really believe that nothing adds so much to the glory of my country as newspapers. Liberty is stamped legibly upon its pages, and even the fold is marked with freedom. Do you want to know how your country thrives, I point you to the press! There you shall find a piece, perhaps, under the head of legislative! Are you fond of miscellany, look there! What book can furnish such good accounts of murder, robbery, accidents, marriages, anecdotes, and many other such things. Such good, as well as bad ac all these considerations, who is there in this land of counts from the Russians, Turks, Dutch, &c. Under freedom, that will not attend to an object so worthy of his regard?

Some years since, a Scots regiment happened to be in Nottingham, a general muster was one day ordered, when each man was to produce the whole of his kit, or in other words, the whole of his necessaries, includ ing brushes, &c. It was found that one man had dis posed of several articles, and upon being questioned "they were my own.' for his reason for so doing, "Sir," said the soldier, "Own, mon!" vociferated an old Scots officer, "ye've nought o' yer own; yer clothes are yer kintry's; yer body's the King's, and yer soul's the de'il's; mon, ye've nought o' yer own!"

A wag happening to go into the shop of a tailor just as the latter was in the act of patching an old garment with new cloth, thus addressed the knight of the bodkin: "You, sir, are no man and I can prove it by the highest authority." "How so," replied the unsuspecting tailor, as he plied his needle with redoubled activity, "I should like to hear the dated, sir," says the wag, asking him at the same moment, evidence for your assertion." "You shall be accommoif he recollected of ever having read the passage in the New Testament which declares that "no man putteth a piece of new cloth into an old garment." The tailor laughed heartily at the jest, and insisted upon quaffing a pint of Old Sicily with the wag, at his own expense.