140 And leave her on such slight conditions. 150 I now beseech you, for your daughter's sake, Are men endued with worthy qualities: And fit for great employment, worthy lord. Dispose of them as thou know'st their deserts. 160 Val. And, as we walk along, I dare be bold With our discourse to make your grace to smile. What think you of this page, my lord? Duke. I think the boy hath grace in him; he blushes. Val. I warrant you, my lord, more grace than boy. Duke. What mean you by that saying? Val. Please you, I'll tell you as we pass along, That you will wonder what hath fortuned. Come, Proteus; 'tis your penance but to hear 170 The story of your loves discovered: That done, our day of marriage shall be yours; One feast, one house, one mutual happiness. [Exeunt. SCENE I. Windsor. Before PAGE's house. Enter JUSTICE SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS. Shal. Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire. Slen. In the county of Gloucester, justice of peace and 'Coram.' Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and 'Custalorum.' Slen. Ay, and 'Rato-lorum' too; and a gentleman born, master parson; who writes himself 'Armigero,' in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, Armigero.' 11 Shal. Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred years. Slen. All his successors gone before him hath done 't; and all his ancestors that come after him may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat. Shal. It is an old coat. Evans. The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love. 21 Shal. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat. Slen. I may quarter, coz. It is marring indeed, if he quarter it. Shal. The council shall hear it; it is a riot. Evans. It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that. Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it. 41 Evans. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it: and there is also another device in my prain, which peradventure prings goot discretions with it: there is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas Page, which is pretty virginity. Slen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman. Evans. It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his death's-bed-Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!-give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page. Slen. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound? 60 Evans. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. Slen. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts. Evans. Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts. Shal Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there? Evans. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that is false, or as I despise one that is not true. and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. The knight, Sir John, is there; I will peat the door for Master Page. [Knocks] What, hoa! Got pless your house here! Page. [Within] Who's there? Enter PAGE. Evans. Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings. Page. I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow. 81 Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page?-and I thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart. Page. Sir, I thank you. Shal. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do. Page. I am glad to see you, good Master Slender. 90 Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? Slen. You'll not confess, you'll not confess. Shal That he will not. "Tis your fault, 'tis your fault: 'tis a good dog. Page. A cur, sir. Shal Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: can there be more said? he is good and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here? 100 Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you. Evans. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak. Shal. He hath wronged me, Master Page. Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it. Shal. If it be confessed, it is not redressed: is not that so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he hath; at a word, he hath, believe me: Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged. Page. Here comes Sir John. Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL. Fal. Now, Master Shallow, you'll of me to the king? Evans. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, 'He hears with ear'? why, it is affectations. Fal. Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse? Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else, of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves. 161 Fal. Is this true, Pistol? I combat challenge of this latten bilbo. Slen. By these gloves, then, 'twas he. Nym. Be avised, sir, and pass good humours: I will say 'marry trap' with you, if you run the nuthook's humour on me; that is the very note of it. Slen. By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John? Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say the gencomplaintleman had drunk himself out of his five sen Shal Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge. Fal. But not kissed your keeper's daughter? tences. 180 Evans. It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is! Bard. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and so conclusions passed the careires. Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. 190 Evans. So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it. Enter ANNE PAGE, with wine; MISTRESS 200 [Kisses her. Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness. [Exeunt all except Shal., Slen., and Evans. Slen. I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of Songs and Sonnets here. Enter SIMPLE. How now, Simple! where have you been? I Sim. Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here. Do you understand me? Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason. Shal. Nay, but understand me. Slen. So I do, sir. 220 Evans. Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it. Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here. Evans. But that is not the question: the question is concerning your marriage. Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir. Evans. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page. Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon 231 any reasonable demands. Evans. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the mouth. Therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid? Shal Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? Slen. I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become 240 one that would do reason. Evans. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her. Will you, upon good Shal. That you must. dowry, marry her? Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason. Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid? Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request: but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married and have more occasion to know one another; I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, 'Marry her,' I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely. 260 Evans. It is a fery discretion answer; save the fall is in the ort 'dissolutely: the ort is, according to our meaning, 'resolutely:' his meaning is good. Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well. Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la! Shal. Here comes fair Mistress Anne. Re-enter ANNE PAGE. [ACT 1. Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company. 271 Shal. I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne. Evans. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace. [Exeunt Shallow and Evans. Anne. Will't please your worship to come in, sir? Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well. Anne. The dinner attends you, sir. sooth. Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forwait upon my cousin Shallow. [Exit Simple.] A justice of peace sometimes may be beholding to his friend for a man. and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: but I keep but three men what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born. they will not sit till you come. talked of. 301 soon quarrel at it as any man in England. You Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not? Anne. Ay, indeed, sir. Slen. That's meat and drink to me, now. have taken him by the chain; but, I warrant I have seen Sackerson loose twenty times, and it, that it passed: but women, indeed, cannot you, the women have so cried and shrieked at abide 'em; they are very ill-favoured rough things. Re-enter PAGE. Page. Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you. Slen. I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir. Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way. 321 Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. I pray you, sir. Anne. blesome. SCENE II. The same. Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE. Would I were young for your sake, Mistress of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or Anne! his laundry, his washer, and his wringer. Sim. Well, sir. Evans. Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with Mistress Anne Page: and the letter is, to desire and require her to solicit your master's desires to Mistress Anne Page. pray you, be gone: I will make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese to come. [Exeunt. SCENE III. A room in the Garter Inn. Enter FALSTAFF, HOST, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, and ROBIN. Fal. Mine host of the Garter! Host. What says my bully-rook? speak scholarly and wisely. Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers. Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot. Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week. Host. Thou'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector? Fal. Do so, good mine host. Host. I have spoke; let him follow. [To Bard.] Let me see thee froth and lime: I am at a word; follow. [Exit. Fal. Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered serving-man a fresh tapster. Go; adieu. 20 Bard. It is a life that I have desired: I will thrive. Pist. O base Hungarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield? (Exit Bardolph. Nym. He was gotten in drink: is not the humour conceited? Fal. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox: his thefts were too open; his filching was like an unskilful singer; he kept not time. Nym. The good humour is to steal at minute's rest. Pist. Convey,' the wise it call. foh! a fico for the phrase! a 31 'Steal!' Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. Fal. There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I must shift. Pist. Young ravens must have food. Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? Pist. I ken the wight: he is of substance good. 41 Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about. Pist. Two yards, and more. Fal. No quips now, Pistol! Indeed, I am in the waist two yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife: I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be Englished rightly, is, 'I am Sir John Falstaff's.' Pist. He hath studied her will, and translated her will, out of honesty into English. Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass? Fal. Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her husband's purse: he hath a legion of angels. 60 Pist. As many devils entertain; and 'To her, boy,' say I. Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels. Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and here another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good eyes too, examined my parts with most judicious ceillades; sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly. Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine. 70 Nym. I thank thee for that humour. Fal. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burningglass! Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to Mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take al!! Nym. I will run no base humour: here, take the humour-letter: I will keep the haviour of reputation. Fal. [To Robin] Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly; Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores. And high and low beguiles the rich and poor: Nym. I have operations which be humours of revenge. Pist. Wilt thou revenge? Nym. By welkin and her star! Pist. With wit or steel? Nym. With both the humours, I: I will discuss the humour of this love to Page. How Falstaff, varlet vile, 100 His dove will prove, his gold will hold, Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous: that is my true humour. Pist. Thou art the Mars of malecontents: I second thee; troop on. [Exeunt. SCENE IV. A room in DOCTOR CAIUS's house. Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY. Quick. What, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor Caius, coming. If he do, i' |