quisition of money. A short time before Sedgely | lighted to think that I was about to become a had met him in London, he had been paying partner of their pleasures. I had none of the his addresses to an heiress, plain, ignorant. and trials of a younger sister to apprehend. Alicia ill-tempered; her guardians refused to consent and Geraldine were so little older than myself, to her marriage with him till his father made an had so many admirers, and were so kind and independent provision for him. The old man, affectionate in disposition, that they were perwho loved money as dearly as his son did, fectly willing to admit me to a full share of their angrily refused to comply with this demand; triumphs; we had many young unmarried men hence arose the dispute between the father and in our neighbourhood, and a regiment was freson; and Linburn, while waiting in hopes that quently quartered in the neighbouring town. his father would re-consider the matter, could My start in life was perfectly desirable: I had not be more agreeably employed than in his a good introduction, good looks, a good fortune, favourite pastime of winning a heart to cast it and a good temper, I felt that I was, to use an scornfully away from him when won. I ex- expression of the old writers, well-conditioned' cited as much pity among my neighbours as in every respect. I was soon destined, howAlicia had done a few months ago, but oh! ever, to find that my dream of admirers was not what a different kind of pity! My sister's lover likely to be realized, it was evident that I was had been snatched from her by the hand of God, no favourite with the gentlemen; at dances, a none could affix the slightest blame to herself, partner was only secured for me by interference none could speak of her lover's memory, save or solicitude on the part of the lady of the with respect and kindness: but I was alter- house; at pic-nics, I was left to climb crumbling nately accused of vanity, forwardness, and want steps and explore tangled walks by myself; at of principle. I had encouraged the addresses dinners, I was taken down stairs by a married of an engaged man, and deluded myself into man (usually in obedience to a hint on the part the belief that he was enamoured of me, when, of his wife), and in the evening, whenever there in reality, he was only amusing himself with my was a vacant chair in the room, it was sure to self-conceit. These comments were repeated to be by my side. Annoyed and disturbed by me by goodnatured friends, who declared that these continual instances of neglect, I spoke on they had been taking my part, and wondered the subject to my sisters: they rallied me goodat the want of charity of the world!' Yes, humouredly on my impatience in expecting to the little world that surrounded me was un- come, see, and conquer,' at once, and told me charitable, indeed, and I am thankful to escape that those who are slow in making impressions from it, even for a short time; but my own often make the deepest in the end; that I rereflections still torment and reproach me, quired to be known, and when known, was sure and I think you will agree with me that the to be valued. This was kindly meant of them, worst trial a woman can endure is to be deserted and it sounded like a plausible argument; but by the man she loves, and to feel that he was I was aware that it did not require much time never worthy of her affection! to know me. I was far from being one of those young ladies denominated by young men nonconductors,' who reply in monysyllables to “Like my sisters, I passed my early days every remark that is addressed to them, aud very happily. I was a favourite with my go- prove themselves so unable to keep up the ball of verness, and popular with my schoolfellows. I conversation, that it is soon suffered to lie hopeentered eagerly into the contraband novel-lessly on the ground. I felt that I was neither reading of which you have already heard. I had more vanity than my sisters, and was particularly pleased with those stories which represent the heroine as being surrounded with admirers and lovers, and refusing all their successive offers of hearts, hands, carriages, and pin-money, till at length her frost becomes suddenly melted by the appearance of some all conquering youth, who bears her off to love and an ornamental cottage. I was not fond of Pope, few young girls are, yet there were two lines of his which seemed to embody my wished-for career in society: י! Maud now put in her claim to commisera tion "Favours to none, to all she smiles extends, Oft she rejects, but never once offends." I resolved to be very discreet and gentle, to convert all my discarded lovers into friends, and to bear with meekness all the indignities and slanders of my jealous lady-rivals. I had a cheerful and happy home, my uncle and aunt were continually adding to the circle of their acquaintance, and my two dear sisters were de bashful nor confident in manner, and that I was free from any objectionable peculiarity. You will smile, perhaps, at the idea that I should seem to know myself so well, when it is a sort of knowledge proverbially difficult of attainment; but remember that I had received a school education, which has this great advantage over a home one, that no girl, so educated, can remain ignorant of her own failings and deficiencies; she passes the ordeal of governesses, teachers, and pupils, and they cannot all be blinded to her defects. At home, I am of opinion that a fault often becomes strongly confirmed in a girl, not so much because her parents refrain from correcting it through weak indulgence, as because their peculiar tastes and ideas may induce them to convert it into a virtue, which ought to be fostered and encouraged. For instance, I remember a young girl whose silent bashfulness was considered so amiable and interesting at home that she never made an effort to throw it off, and entered upon the world incurably and painfully shy; and another instance occurs to me, where a juvenile wit so delighted her lively, boisterous father, and so excited her languid, sleepy mother, by the vivacity and brilliancy of her repartees, that she was praised, admired, and encouraged, till she be came a sharp, fearless satirist, who was unis versally disliked and dreaded in society. Such, however, could not be my case, I made friendships among my young companions, and I am sure they all thought me well qualified to take my place in the world. I have told you of my general disappointments; I will now tell you of a particular one: My favourite school friend was Kate Chadwick, and her mother's residence was, fortunately, within a mile of that of my uncle; she had often talked to me of her brother Henry, and expressed her hopes that I and Henry should be pleased with each other. liked Henry very much; he was handsome, agreeable, and unaffected; but it was evident that my liking was not reciprocated, for Henry Chadwick neglected me still more decidedly than any of the other young men in the neigh-I had just time to reach my hiding-place, when bourhood. I felt so mortified and surprised at his conduct (for sisters generally contrive to make brothers attentive to their school friends), that I began to conceive I must have an enemy somewhere; it is true that I had not the slight est conception in what corner this mysterious foe might be lurking; but it was more satisfactory to me to think that I was persecuted than that I was neglected. I recalled Shakspeare's remark-"how much an ill word may empoison liking!" and imagined that when I had emerged, brightly and clearly, from the clouds of calumny that obscured me, Henry Chadwick would descry all my good qualities, and atone for his former short-comings by the offer of a life of devotion, and a wedding ring. I soon called on Kate, and communicated to her my idea that her brother had been prejudiced against me by evil report." "I will tell Henry of it,' said Kate, looking properly shocked at my communication. 'I do not approve of his conduct.' "Do so,' I replied, and inquire whether any enemy has been trying to make him think ill of me, but promise that you report faithfully every word that he says, and, oh! Kate, promise, above all, that you will not let him know that I prompted the inquiry.' "Really,' said Kate, laughing, 'I do not think that my conscience, or my memory, are equal to so many promises: Henry is now crossing the lawn, he will be here in a minute, just walk into the inner room and you will hear every word of our conversation.' "Under ordinary circumstances, I would have scorned the idea of becoming a listener; but as II was acting with the permission, and, indeed, by the desire of Kate, I did not think that I should be doing wrong in availing myself of this opportunity of hearing Henry Chadwick's real and unbiassed sentiments concerning me. "I am sure you are wrong, Maud,' said Kate; 'I never heard Henry speak unkindly of you on any occasion.' "Did you ever hear him speak kindly of me?' I inquired. "Why, not precisely,' said Kate, hesitating, I am sorry to say that you and Henry do not get on so well as I had hoped, but depend upon it he has no dislike to you.' "Yet,' I replied, he treats me with indifference almost amounting to disdain." And then I repeated to her a delinquency committed by the said Henry Chadwick two nights ago, when I had been sitting at a dance, in the cha racter of a wallflower, for half the evening; how that he continually passed and re-passed by me without speaking; how that at last he spoke to me, but only to inquire whether I had seen a certain Miss Emily Kilburn; and how, when I had replied in the negative, he set forth on a search through the inner drawing-room, conservatory, and music-room, and at length returned with the said Miss Emily Kilburn leaning on his arm, and led her forth to join the sidecouples of the Lancers.'" Henry entered the drawing-room, and Kate almost immediately began to discharge her allotted mission by saying: What can make you behave so rudely, Henry, to my favourite friend, Maud Willoughby? I assure you that I feel quite vexed with you.' "This is a serious charge,' he laughingly replied, 'I hope that I am not in the habit of behaving rudely to any ladies, especially to one who is your favourite friend; tell me my offence, and I will try to defend myself.' "Why did you pass her over on Wednesday night,' said Kate,when you saw that she wanted a partner, and go out of your way to engage that odious little Emily Kilburn?' "Simply because I liked Emily Kilburn the best,' he replied. I must confess to you, Kate, that your friend Maud does not exactly strike my fancy.' "Does not exactly strike your fancy! what a phrase to apply to dear Maud!' "There is nothing very extraordinary in the phrase, I think, and I am quite willing to allow that my indifference to her may proceed from want of taste.' you not think her well-informed, and wellbred?' just not ugly, and were just not mad,' the objects of interest and attention. I saw demure nonentities led to the altar, and dauntless flirts miring, applauding listeners, although they might fail in converting them into lovers. I saw "How can she fail to be so, when she has been educated at the same school with my ac-surrounded through a whole evening with adcomplished sister? but seriously, Kate, you make me quite nervous by cross-questioning me so perseveringly respecting Maud Willoughby, what can be the reason of it? I hope her late father and mine did not affiance us in our cradles, as we sometimes read of in novels.' "No, they did not, Henry; but if they had, there would have been nothing very tremenduous in such a contract, would there?' "Hebes turned of fifty, try once more To raise a flame in Cupids of three-score!" For me, I had neither lover nor listener, and even the Cupids of three score' would prefer the attentions of the 'Hebes of fifty' to mine. I returned home more dissatisfied with the world "Yes, indeed there would, since, in that than ever. Yet I had many advantages in my case, I should assuredly be under the necessity domestic circle; my uncle, aunt, and sisters of telling my betrothed that I hoped she were all that was kind, and my young friends would excuse me from fulfilling the agreement had sufficient tact and good feeling to refrain made in my name; but do not look so grave on from any remarks on a subject necessarily so the subject, Kate: I have never wilfully offended painful to me as my want of attraction; they Mand Willoughby, and never intend to do so; contrived, however, innocently to be the cause nay, I will promise to dance with her on the first of uneasiness to me by the evident care with opportunity, but pray excuse me from admiring, which they shunned the possibility of annoying or making love to her.' Visitors were just then me. If invited to meet a single man of fortune announced, and as I could make my escape and family, they would freely jest with each without re-entering the drawing-room, I did so, other respecting the probability of their attracting and returned home in a wretched state of mind. him; but they would never address a word of The gratification of woman's curiosity is gene- raillery to me. I was so clearly out of the rally said to bring its own punishment along question that they feared I might construe a with it, and such was decidedly the case in the jest into an insult. Then, I was even jealous present instance. Had Henry Chadwick repeated of the little instances of spite that they showed the most cruel calumnies against me, and avowed to each other. Sometimes a girl would be his unqualified belief in them; had he uttered counselled by her young friends to wear a colour the keenest sarcasms on my appearance and which they knew would be unbecoming to her; manners, or the bitterest invectives against my sometimes she would be recommended to sing a temper and principles, I should not have felt so song manifestly beyond the compass of her thoroughly degraded and mortified as by this voice. For me, if I had made a toilette as sweeping, easy, indifferent way of disposing of elaborate as that of Belinda in the Rape of the my claims to attention. To be termed a harm- Lock,' no one would have wished a curl to be less, inoffensive girl,' who 'did not particularly tangled, or a fold to be rumpled; if I had exestrike his fancy the utmost art of human in-cuted a bravura, with trills, shakes, and cagenuity could not have devised any words that could have stung me so severely. Not only because I preferred Henry Chadwick to all other men, but because I felt an intuitive conviction that he spoke the feelings of his sex, that no man disliked me, or wished to offend me, but that they simply felt no pleasure in my society, and therefore wished to shun it. Had I been persecuted or defamed, I might have enjoyed the magnanimous pleasure of forgiving an injury; but I had no injury to forgive. I felt myself set apart from other young women as if I did not belong to their class, and could devise no remedy, because I could discern no reason for it. At length my aunt's eyes became open to my want of popularity.' "You do not seem likely to break the hearts of any of the gentlemen in this neighbourhood, Maud,' she said, good humouredly, we must encourage visits from home.' This was not at all difficult to do, for I was not unpopular among women. I had quite the average share of dear friends among the young, and kind well-wishers among their mothers and aunts. I did pay visits from home; I was introduced into different circles, but everywhere the same want of success attended me. I saw girls who were dences, rivalling those of a prima donna, no one "I had listened with great attention to the narratives of my three young friends, and told them that I was quite ready to pronounce the verdict that they wished. I addressed Alicia, as the eldest, and said: "Your trial I know must be severe, but, believe me, it will not be lasting; you have yet to learn the healing influence of Time. While friends are beseeching you not to weep, while philosophers are proving to you that you ought not to weep, and while the world is indifferent whether you weep or not, time will be slowly dropping his soothing balm into your wounded heart, and a bright sunny morning will succeed to the dark night which now seems to shroud your future prospects. You can scarcely hitherto have been sensible of this solace, only a few months have passed since your bereavement, let a few more elapse, and the aspect of life will once more look fair and smiling to you, and probably you may ere long experience the sure and certain cure of a second attachment, which may be as true as your first, and more prosperous.' Alicia sobbed and murmured 'Never,' and I turned to Geraldine. 66 6 Your trial,' I said, appears to me far lighter than that of your sister. Time, I have told her, will work her cure; but Time, although sure, is slow in its operations. Halfan-hour, at the most, ought to perfect your cure, since, if you only gave that time to rational, steady consideration of the conduct of the man who has deserted you, I am convinced that you would deem yourself most happy in having escaped an union with one so false and unprincipled. He had no redeeming quality; when engaged to another, he sought to win your heart, not because he had involuntarily given you his own; but because he wished to offer up your young affections as a sacrifice at the shrine of his heartless and unfeeling vanity. All your sorrows ought to be merged in disdain of himself, and pity for the unfortunate woman who is united to him. The remedy for your trial is at hand, and may be named in one word-Scorn!' Geraldine shook her head, as if to intimate that my doctrines were difficult to be practised; but she did not dissent from me in words. I therefore addressed myself to Maud.' "Your trial,' I said, 'far surpasses in magnitude that of either of your sisters; it is woman's destiny to love and to be loved, and through some strange and inexplicable cause you seem to be cut off from the usual privileges of your sex. When you first began your narrative, I will candidly tell you that I supposed you to be a vain girl, irritated and disappointed because you could not 'break hearts by dozens' directly you entered into society; but the circumstantial manner in which you have dwelt on the neglect experienced by you, the length of time which has elapsed since you were first exposed to it, and above all, the silence of your sisters while you were relating your story, which clearly showed that they found it impossible to contradict you, have completely convinced me that you are unlikely ever to win a heart; therefore, I repeat, you have the hardest trial to bear, your sisters' troubles may, and I have no doubt will be removed; yours, I fear, will ever continue.' "Like most umpires, it was evident that my decision gave satisfaction to no one. Alicia and Geraldine seemed to think me unfeeling in deeming that their sorrows would be so soon dispelled, and Maud was perceptibly vexed that I so perfectly agreed with her, and so decidedly entered into her own view of the subject as to the perpetuity of her neglected position in society. The hour was late, and I took my leave. Whether my candour would have made my future visits less acceptable to my young friends, I cannot say, since on the succeeding morning, I received information of the sudden illness of a relation. I left the place before noon, and it was ten years before I met again with the Misses Willoughby, when I chanced to be staying with a friend in their immediate neighbourhood.' "Alicia had verified my prediction; she had formed a second attachment, for a country gentleman, who had purchased an estate near that of her uncle, and in little more than a year after the death of her first lover, she was united to her new choice. Alicia is very happy, although her said choice is essentially different in person, mind, and manners, from all that she had described her lamented Walgrave to be. He is stout, rosy, boisterous, and merry, and has so little refinement in his composition, that even his fox-hunting associates occasionally remark that he would not be worse if he had somewhat more polish.' Alicia, however, seems to perceive no fault in him; indeed she is not so elegant herself as she used to be, she has grown much plumper than the lapse of ten years renders at all warrantable, and her voice is not like King Lear's description of the voice of his daughter Cordelia; she is, also, rather too fond of exciting and increasing the spirits of her five handsome sturdy boys; however, Alicia is happy, and I have proved myself a true prophet in regard to her destiny.' "Geraldine also is married; two years after I had met with her, she accepted the hand of an excellent and highly principled clergyman, her character has greatly improved under his guidance, and so far from regretting Linburn's perfidy, she is truly thankful to Providence for having spared her from the wretchedness of an has two gentle, pretty little girls, and is quite alliance with one so false and unprincipled; she as happy as Alicia, although her happiness is of a quieter character.' "Maud, promoted by the marriages of her sisters to the honour of being Miss Willoughby, and the only young lady of the family, has not had the good fortune of attracting more notice and admiration from having the field all to herself; she is still the wallflower, the uncourted, the uncared for one. Ten years have altered her personal appearance, but in a different way from that of Alicia; instead of growing plump, she has grown extremely thin, and her countenance has assumed a sharp, fretful expression; her conversation also turns much on the bad qualities of men, and whenever she hears that a married couple live unhappily together, she busies herself in collecting all the details of their quarrels and circulating them through the neighbourhood. I am sorry to think that her temper should have been so perceptibly injured by her troubles; but she has verified my opinion concerning the nature of her peculiar trial, and my conviction remains unshaken, that, although it may be hard to lose a lover by death, and mortifying, to lose him by falsehood, there is no trial so hard, so mortifying and so difficult to be borne, as that of-never having had a lover at all !! THE HERO-WORSHIPPER. (Concluded.) "As grief grew calm, and hope was dead," Millicent began to trace good even in her present lot. Georgie's marriage, which was not long delayed, made her parents in a great measure dependent on herself for their daily happiness and domestic comfort; and she was thankful to be permitted to conduce to it, feeling as she did how grievously she had disappointed their expectations for her; and she strove, by her cheerful acquiescence in their wishes, and the affectionate respect of her manner, to make up to them for that gratification of their parental pride, of which she, by her wilfulness (as they considered it) had deprived them. Sir James was the most implacable of the family party: his self-love had been so thoroughly mortified; and a visit Millicent consented to pay her sister in the course of the following spring, would have been one of unmitigated discomfort, but for the presence of a young cousin of Sir James's, who was at once deeply and kindly interested in "that poor sweet Mrs. Vyvyan," whom he pronounced "far too good and fair to be so unhappy." Perhaps his having himself entered into an engagement-now of some years' standing-from which his friends continued to withhold their consent from prudential motives, might in some measure have called forth the strong sympathy which he felt and expressed for Millicent; and the dejected and forlorn felt grateful for the feeling shown, in many almost imperceptible acts, and in those "Kind words, so short to speak, But whose echo is endless." One great source of attraction to her, was the intention he expressed, and to which he often referred, of visiting Italy in the course of that year-that had now become to her sacred soil. She felt as Thekla, there is but one place in the earth-there, where he lies buried." And in dreams by day and night, she had often stood beside his grave, and gazed upon those words that formed his last link with earth. journey was delayed until the following year, and his stay in Italy prolonged to twice that period-years that glided over Millicent with much apparent sameness, but in which she as from the chill of the grave to the passed No more strugwarmth of the noon-day sun." gling against her lot, or yielding to it, as one overpowered by superior strength, but patiently bearing, cheerfully meeting daily trials and daily duties; not but that Vyvyan was still enshrined most deeply in her heart; and that memory would often, very often, dwell on those days for ever fled, when his affection had made life so bright, and all things in it reflected the glowing tints of her own happiness. It was with a beating heart and faltering voice, that she, on Mr. Hastings' return, again spoke to him of Darnsford; when he told her that he had indeed met him, and had every reason to thank her for having led to his acquaintance with a person so singularly gifted and interesting. "He is certainly very reserved," he said: but there are times when his heart appears to open to you, and then you see how rare and precious are its qualities." He described him as possessing talents of the highest order, but in the exercise of them eccentric and capricious. "It is to be wished," he added, "that his life more what it ought to be. But his were agreeable qualities make his society much sought after; and it seems as if, in order to shine there in the manner expected of him, a degree of excitement is necessary; to produce which, no ordinary stimulus avails. And then, again, to escape the miserable reaction, he plunges into fresh and wilder dissipation. It would appear as if, by some rude shock, the whole current of his being had been diverted from the noble course for which it was originally designed, and as if what we was but the scattered fragments of his better self." now saw Of Vyvyan Mr. Hastings had been able to learn but little, and that was not very satisfacBefore she left Rosemount, she (though not tory. Darnsford had spoken of him as an acwithout a struggle) expressed to Mr. Hastings quaintance of former days, and as though cut her wish that, should he ever meet with Darns- off from all the sympathies of his present existford, he should obtain from him such informa-ence; and yet he remembered his having once tion as he could of her husband's last days-a promise he readily made, and with the sincerest intention of speedily fulfilling it; but with the usual uncertainty of sublunary things, his appeared much moved, when referring to Vyvyan's prospects as an artist, so suddenly blighted by his early death. "His name," he said, "will now never be known among his |
